Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend this time?
- By Hoàng Ánh -
Adults's interventions play an essential role in a child's development. Some people think that children should be obligated to spend all their spare time in school work such as reading books or doing exericses, while others claim that they should be encouraged to participate in leasure activities in order to sufficiently improve their skills. From my point of view, i totally vote for the later sentiment.
First of all, it is an indisputable fact that teenagers could attain a vast amount of experiences and skills though outside activities. No sooner had they took part in some enthusiastic games like "seek n hide" than their courage, flexibility as well as quick decision making skills could be enhanced significantly. This is due to the fact that they have to explore and find the unlikely places where their friends are hiding or adapt to a difficult situation which great versatility are required.
Equally important, only work and no play could potientially make adolescents become dullboys or dullgirls. It is possible that a prolonged period of learning is disruptive to children's academic outcomes and turning them into rotelearners or even result in social isolation which ocassionally seen in people who lack of interaction with each others. Moreover, without communicating with people from diffirents walks of live how can children cultivate their social skills or experience which is of great value to their careers later in life.
In conlusion, although education is of vital importance to teenagers, however they need to be given adequate free time to choose their hoobies such as games or sports as it not only improve one's characteristic but also promote physical and cognitive development which is of essence for students.
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Sentence: Some people think that children should be obligated to spend all their spare time in school work such as reading books or doing exericses, while others claim that they should be encouraged to participate in leasure activities in order to sufficiently improve their skills.
Error: exericses Suggestion: exercises
Error: leasure Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Equally important, only work and no play could potientially make adolescents become dullboys or dullgirls.
Error: dullgirls Suggestion: dull girls
Error: potientially Suggestion: potentially
Error: dullboys Suggestion: dull boys
Sentence: It is possible that a prolonged period of learning is disruptive to children's academic outcomes and turning them into rotelearners or even result in social isolation which ocassionally seen in people who lack of interaction with each others.
Error: rotelearners Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: ocassionally Suggestion: occasionally
Sentence: Moreover, without communicating with people from diffirents walks of live how can children cultivate their social skills or experience which is of great value to their careers later in life.
Error: diffirents Suggestion: different
Sentence: In conlusion, although education is of vital importance to teenagers, however they need to be given adequate free time to choose their hoobies such as games or sports as it not only improve one's characteristic but also promote physical and cognitive development which is of essence for students.
Error: conlusion Suggestion: confusion
Error: hoobies Suggestion: hobbies
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Number of Paragraphs: 4 5