TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

When children have a good behavior or get an idol mark in school, their parents should encourage them, to buy some reward. In my opinion, when parents pay attention to their children and give them some gifts as reward is a good way to teach them, and it’s not matter how old are they, all the people like to someone give them reward.

First, most of the children have some dream to buy some toys or a special dress but the problem is their parent’s ideas are different and sometimes they buy something for them but they don’t like that, or sometimes their dreams are very expensive and their parents couldn’t afford it. For example, I remember when I was 8, I got A mark in math exam, and my father promised when I get highest number in class he would buy a charge small pink car, but that day had never come, and even now after 17 years I really like that car, so when parents give them money it’s a better idea for them to buy whatever they like.

Second, when the children under age of 19, the parents should take care of them when give them money, because some of them attracting to smoke or drinks and always waste lots of money in night clubs, addition maybe they find some bad friends, so the parents should be controlling them but not too much and never force them to do something. For example, I remember when I was 13 I read on website news about two girls killed by an older man in club, they went there every night to dance until morning also have fun and spend lots of money that her father gave them, because one of the girls get B at school, her name was Sarah, but one night Sarah boy friend gave them some stranger piles to had much more fun,but that made them unconscious,and then, next morning the police find their bodies necked in front of their school, also the police could find the killer after 2 weeks but he got suicide in his bathroom. and they reported to newspapers to they could find their rape exam results too.and that news was impressed me so much.and now after 30 years i'm really take care of my daughter to be safe.

In summarize parents should encourage their children to pay them money for good mark they get but they must always protect them, because the society is dangerous for young children without any experiences.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 322, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'someone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gives'.
Suggestion: gives
...re they, all the people like to someone give them reward. First, most of the chil...
^^^^
Line 4, column 396, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'get the highest'.
Suggestion: get the highest
...ath exam, and my father promised when I get highest number in class he would buy a charge s...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 834, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: And
...ce could find the killer after 2 weeks. and they reported to newspapers to they cou...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, really, second, so, for example, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1722.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 384.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.484375 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.19641042385 2.67179642975 82% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.497395833333 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 513.0 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 20.6003584229 39% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 48.0 20.1344086022 238% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 125.116945295 48.9658058833 256% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 215.25 100.406767564 214% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 48.0 20.6045352989 233% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 9.125 5.45110844103 167% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222565307616 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130702659943 0.076458572812 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.051699906294 0.0737576698707 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168491191525 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0242417961207 0.0645574589148 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 23.7 11.7677419355 201% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 48.14 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.5 10.1575268817 182% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.59 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 40.0 86.8835125448 46% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 21.2 10.0537634409 211% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 24.0 10.247311828 234% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.