Some people believe that the academe should focus on educating students about science and technology rather than putting importance in teaching subjects such as music. In my opinion, I firmly agree that learning sciences and modern technology is the way to go.
First and foremost, the current employment market is vastly predominated by jobs that require skills and knowledge about modern technology such as computers and the Internet. Whereas, jobs with inclination to music is often only limited to the entertainment industry. This means that when we expose learners to technological advancements at an early age, they will tend to follow the path and they will land better job opportunities when they are older. Moreover, musically-inclined students who foster their interest in the subject usually end up with unsteady jobs in the show business which in turn results to irregular income. While students who enroll in sciences and eventually work in that field are said to have numerous more employment opportunities and better and regular paychecks.
Additionally, the interest in the music subject is not applicable to every student. There are a few who are not gifted to readily understand instruments and read notes as quickly as the others regardless of their effort to strive. This can result to failing grades in the class which can lower students’ desire for school or their self-esteem. On the other hand, science being a huge body of study with several branches, allows the student to have plenty of options to put their interest in. If a student is interested in a subject, they excel more in his class. This makes teaching science in school a better choice to keep the learners interested school. Likewise, students who have a deeper fascination of sciences such as chemistry, physics, and biology, have the potential to be future scientist. They can be instruments of scientific breakthroughs or provide solutions to the unyielding global problems. Thus, it is undeniably true that studying science in school can ignite more interest in students than music does.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that including music as a subject in the school curriculum should be replaced with science and technology such as robotics, because jobs that are scientifically-oriented are more rampant than with musically-directed ones. This allows future employees to have better work opportunities and salaries. Similarly, the interest in sciences can lead to lesser dropout rates and produce excellent students who may one day become innovators and inventors.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 176, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ogy such as computers and the Internet. Whereas, jobs with inclination to music is ofte...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, likewise, may, moreover, similarly, so, thus, whereas, while, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 7.30460921844 233% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 41.998997996 126% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2172.0 1615.20841683 134% => OK
No of words: 407.0 315.596192385 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33660933661 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.20363070211 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09149106055 2.80592935109 110% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 176.041082164 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535626535627 0.561755894193 95% => OK
syllable_count: 664.2 506.74238477 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 5.43587174349 184% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0721442886 118% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.7464407589 49.4020404114 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.315789474 106.682146367 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4210526316 20.7667163134 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.78947368421 7.06120827912 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.67935871743 173% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.244475325294 0.244688304435 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0773845038095 0.084324248473 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.060284873957 0.0667982634062 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162287880457 0.151304729494 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.050877078866 0.056905535591 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 13.0946893788 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 50.2224549098 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.69 12.4159519038 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 78.4519038076 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.