"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys

Essay topics:

"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

The argument states the effects of birth on an individual rhesus monkey from a group of eighteen monkeys. The argument in its current form is not convincing. The support provided for the conclusion is weak and argument makes unwarranted assumptions.

Firstly, it provides no explanation to why the species of rhesus monkeys were chosen for the experiment. Moreover, only eighteen monkeys were selected for the experiment. For any reliable experimental results the experiment must be performed on different species living in different habitats and on a large scale. The influence of other environmental factors must be taken into account.

Secondly, it is assumed that the hormone cortisol is responsible for increased activity levels. There can be a possibility that other hormone or an intermix of hormones are resposible for this hyperactivity.

Thirdly, the anatomy of humans is different from those of monkeys. I agree with the fact that both are mammals but they respond to stimuli in a drastically different manner. It is assumed that what has been seen in monkeys will apply to that in humans and vice-versa.

In conclusion, I would like to sum up with the statement that the above abstract is not fully convincing and contain many loopholes that need to be looked at.

Votes
Average: 1.8 (3 votes)
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Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 159, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... in its current form is not convincing. The support provided for the conclusion is ...
^^^
Line 2, column 150, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ver, only eighteen monkeys were selected for the experiment. For any reliable exp...
^^
Line 3, column 145, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... be a possibility that other hormone or an intermix of hormones are resposible for this hy...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...bility that other hormone or an intermix of hormones are resposible for this hype...
^^
Line 4, column 69, Rule ID: AGREE_WITH_THE_FACT[1]
Message: Use simply 'agree that'.
Suggestion: agree that
...s is different from those of monkeys. I agree with the fact that both are mammals but they respond to st...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, in conclusion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1074.0 2260.96107784 48% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 208.0 441.139720559 47% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16346153846 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.79765784423 4.56307096286 83% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94927530964 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 125.0 204.123752495 61% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.600961538462 0.468620217663 128% => OK
syllable_count: 341.1 705.55239521 48% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.9349402839 57.8364921388 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 82.6153846154 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 23.324526521 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.92307692308 5.70786347227 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.164889737567 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0586937337283 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0862922151308 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0797387830279 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0611711659683 0.0628817314937 97% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.35 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.21 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: There can be a possibility that other hormone or an intermix of hormones are resposible for this hyperactivity.
Error: resposible Suggestion: responsible

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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 208 350
No. of Characters: 1046 1500
No. of Different Words: 125 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.798 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.029 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.847 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 80 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.463 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5