Some people say that physical exercise should be required part of every school day. Other believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies.

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Some people say that physical exercise should be required part of every school day. Other believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies.

The assertion linking the student activities in school negatively with just academic performance is playing a pivot role in schools programing arrangement recently. Although, some people debate that the main responsibility of school is just developing of students academic ability and school should allocate all of their time to this ability, but from my vantage point, students need some physical activities beside their study. Through the following paragraphs, I will substantiate my claim.

In the first place, unlike people mentioned in introduction, I firmly believe that schools should develop all abilities of students and no place existed more appropriate than school to consider these developments such as mental activities, physical activities, and finally of paramount importance academic activities. If students just spend all of their time in study, the performance of their brain would be reduced gradually. In fact, they really need some activities to refresh their mind. What could be better than physical activity that students can use them in their breaks?

Admittedly, before having a good performance in academic ability, students need to be healthy. No body can deny that without being health, students or even people are not able to have proper life. In fact, being healthy is unavoidable prerequisite in our life. Indeed, physical activity can guarantee the health of students and then prepare them to have great performance in their researches and studies. Furthermore, physically activity is a requirement in every people life that school can associate in this respect with putting it in students programs.

In addition to bringing the health and having psychological impact on their mind, physical activity would be accompanying with other advantages such as make student more gregarious. After school, students enter to society and they should be learned how communicate with people effectively. Schools should not confined student just contribute in academic activities. This neglecting might lead to deleterious consequences in students’ future life. If school provides sport events for student such as basketball, volleyball, and such games between classes, not only help them to enjoy exciting and funny time, but also learn a plenty of social behaviors like having cooperation with their team members while they should compete with their rival. In a word, school by adding physical activity to students’ program would have significant share in their effective future life.

To wrap up, taking all aforementioned reasons, it can be concluded that students authentically take a lot of advantages from physical activities in school that school’s director should not be negligible about significance of that.

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2013-11-02 farzaneh 75 view
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The assertion linking the student activities in school negatively with just academic performance is playing a pivot role in schools programing arrangement recently.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence?

Sentence: Furthermore, physically activity is a requirement in every people life that school can associate in this respect with putting it in students programs.
Description: The fragment , physically activity is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace physically with adjective
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and life
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to students and programs

should be learned how communicate with people effectively.
should be learned how to communicate with people effectively.

Schools should not confined student just contribute in academic activities.
Description: The fragment not confined student is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace confined with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive

Sentence: The assertion linking the student activities in school negatively with just academic performance is playing a pivot role in schools programing arrangement recently.
Error: programing Suggestion: programming

accompanying with other advantages such as make student more gregarious.
accompanying with other advantages such as making student more gregarious.

should not be negligible about significance of that.
Description: 'that' refer to what?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 418 350
No. of Characters: 2269 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.522 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.428 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.843 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.77 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

The assertion, linking the student activities in school negatively with just academic performance, is playing a pivot role in schools programing arrangement recently.

The assertion is playing...

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