Q : Art and musics should not be mandatory at school, agree/disagree?
Art and musics should not be mandatory at school, agree/disagree?
It is a common belief that art and music is not an imperative subject at school.
However, I firmly believe that those subjects are essential to the students.
This is because those subjects enable the students to foster their creativity and give opportunities for students to relieve their stress.
To begin with, learning art and music at school can strengthen the students’ creativity.
A research shows that learning those subjects help to hone their imagination as well. It is very beneficial to solve many kinds of problems that could possibly occur in their daily life. This is because polishing their imagination can lead to flexibility in dealing with serious problems.
On top of that, this can give opportunities for students to relieve their stress from their daily routine.
In Korea, students are obsessed with having excellent grades as their key to enter in the renowned universities in the country.
To add up, they ought to spend most of their time in studying other academic subjects in preparation for going to the university.
This leads to the heightening rate of suicide cases among students. Thus, it is regarded as one of the most critical problems in Korea nowadays.
The article from students’ magazine shows a result that 90% of respondents are consist of students who aged from 14 to 18 can ease their body and mind by taking art and music classes as their extracurricular activities.
In this regard, it is very helpful to cut down the level of their stress and so that they can centralize more on other subjects as well.
To sum up, teaching art and music is beneficial to the students because such non-academic programs ameliorate their mental, emotional and physical aspects .
Owing to these reasons, the school should teach art and music to their students in order for them to develop the students’ creativity and alleviate their daily stress and pressure..
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-04-22 | Jency Paul | 56 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: Research
...ngthen the students' creativity. A research shows that learning those subjects help...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 146, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...al to solve many kinds of problems that could possibly occur in their daily life. This is beca...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 16, column 85, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'consisted'.
Suggestion: consisted
...ws a result that 90% of respondents are consist of students who aged from 14 to 18 can ...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 155, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...r mental, emotional and physical aspects . Owing to these reasons, the school ...
^^
Line 21, column 185, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...lleviate their daily stress and pressure..
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so, then, thus, well, to begin with, to sum up, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 24.0651302605 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 41.998997996 126% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1678.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 325.0 315.596192385 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16307692308 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24591054749 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87782380425 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 176.041082164 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.510769230769 0.561755894193 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 499.5 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 5.43587174349 184% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.6091109058 49.4020404114 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.7058823529 106.682146367 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1176470588 20.7667163134 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.41176470588 7.06120827912 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 14.0 4.38176352705 320% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218828872505 0.244688304435 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107905806529 0.084324248473 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.239983467884 0.0667982634062 359% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131028479356 0.151304729494 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.258657095309 0.056905535591 455% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 13.0946893788 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 50.2224549098 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.3001002004 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.4159519038 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.58950901804 95% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 78.4519038076 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.