Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The research conducted by the New Ventures Consulting in order to find the suitable building sites for HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon, has picked up a lot of assumptions on it's way. The conclusion where they suggested HobCo's president to choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for his next HobCo Hobby Shop, is unreasonble and hasty.
The team of researchers did not find even a single hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Apart from a hasty conclusion, that this can be a business opportunity for the HobCo. Inc., the researchers should also have taken a note of the reasons for the same. There might be chances that the population in the southern Grilldon is negligible in comparison to the rest of the Grilldon population. Also, the area of the southern Grilldon with respect to the complete Grilldon areas is not mentioned. It can be insignificant too. There can be chances that, to pursue various hobbies, people commute to other regions of Grilldon, due to very less distance and less time to commute and thus, not feeling the need of a seperate hobby shop in their area. Adding on, it is mentioned in the excerpt, that majority of the population of Grilldon constitues of retirees, there can be huge chances that most of the retirees are stationed in the southern region, thus showing less interest in hobbies and that's why there are no hobby shops in southern grilldon. In the absence of all the above analysis, the conclusion made is immature.
Apart from this, the researchers had conducted a poll where they found that 88 percent of the residents told that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop. Now, what was the size of the data set of the poll? If that is too small, the results can't be extrapolated for a generic conclusion. The second question is who were the majority participants of the poll? Middle-aged working men and women or school going children or retirees? There can be chances that only a single category of residents participated in the polls, thus forming a one-sided opinion, which cannot be relied upon for a legitimate conclusion.
Going forward, the research team also claims that Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. Now, if the distance between the southern Grilldon and other regions of Grilldon is insiginificant and the hobby business has already bloomed upto this level of profitability in the past decade, wouldn't it make another hobby shop redundant? There can be high chances for that. Also, the market behavior of the past decade and the coming decade cannot be compared. Expecting a profit in a line of business based on it's success over the past decade is naive.
Lastly, the assumption made by the researchers that the retirees have ample time, hence they would be the major participants in the hobbies, is also uncalled for. There might be chances that they don't even have the urge of pursuing any hobby because of their health issues and other body ailments. If the researchers would have presented a seperate data on their heath conditions as well as their opinion on joining the hobby classes, then some valid conclusion would have been made.
Hence, giving due attention to all the above mentioned assumptions and unanswered questions, the conclusion given by the researchers for opening the hobby shop in the southern Grilldon area, was hasty and unreasonable.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 584 350
No. of Characters: 2778 1500
No. of Different Words: 244 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.916 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.757 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.633 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 148 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.157 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.577 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.507 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 75, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Ventures Consulting in order to find the suitable building sites for HobCo hobby ...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... Hobby Shop, is unreasonble and hasty. The team of researchers did not find even a...
^^^
Line 2, column 986, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...us showing less interest in hobbies and thats why there are no hobby shops in souther...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 248, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...poll? If that is too small, the results cant be extrapolated for a generic conclusio...
^^^^
Line 4, column 364, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...el of profitability in the past decade, wouldnt it make another hobby shop redundant? T...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 375, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...tability in the past decade, wouldnt it make another hobby shop redundant? There can...
^^^^
Line 5, column 197, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...d for. There might be chances that they dont even have the urge of pursuing any hobb...
^^^^
Line 5, column 318, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had presented'?
Suggestion: had presented
...other body ailments. If the researchers would have presented a seperate data on their heath conditio...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, if, lastly, second, so, then, thus, well, apart from, as well as, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2839.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 582.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87800687285 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91168771031 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68882337484 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 264.0 204.123752495 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453608247423 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 879.3 705.55239521 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.7572844792 57.8364921388 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.56 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.28 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.76 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.370477544332 0.218282227539 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10714200497 0.0743258471296 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107098037021 0.0701772020484 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21364631911 0.128457276422 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.116554649852 0.0628817314937 185% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.