Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Many would say that young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition. In some sense, it is true that fame and wealth in young ages is harmful for those who are not mature mentally. However, I still think that there is no reason that we should compel not being famous or recognized to the young people.
Admittedly, in some cases, being popular is not always good and sometimes lead to tragedic results. We can easily observe cases that young popular celebrities have become so arrogant and licentious that they ended up ruining their careers by themselves because of sexual scandal or drug abuse. In this regard, it is understandable that many people worry about the situations where the young have too much love from the public before the young grow up enough.
However, I still believe that the fruits such as recognition from the public and peer groups could be a strong motivation for the young. Many students are educated in the formalized organization, and those who find their dream job earlier than the others have lack of opportunity to do activities aligned with their career plan and to gain feedback from other professionals. Consequently, their lack of opportunity related with their career easily discourage them to achieve their career goals. Conversely, if students gain fame and recognition at young age, it will encourage them a lot and help them to move future with more ambitious and long-term pursuits.
Moreover, there are jobs in which those who start at young age have advantages. In some fields, young age itself has advantageous owing to one's physical performance or their appearance. For example, professional gamers are all young because the younger they are, the better they play. Also, players in most sports start their career before they even get into college whose performances are the best when they are young enough. In addition, many singers and performers are also start their career at young ages because people generally are more favor of young performers.
- People learn more by watching television than by reading books 83
- Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country. 66
- The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore a chain of movie rental stores In order to stop the recent decline in our profits we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore s ten movie rental stores Since we are famous for o 79
- People learn more by watching television than by reading books. 65
- Although innovations such as video, computers, and the internet seem to offer schools improved methods for instructing students, these technologies all too often distract from real learning. 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 478, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'started'.
Suggestion: started
...n, many singers and performers are also start their career at young ages because peop...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, conversely, however, if, moreover, so, still, for example, in addition, such as, in some cases, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 58.6224719101 63% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1731.0 2235.4752809 77% => OK
No of words: 341.0 442.535393258 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07624633431 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6140565731 2.79657885939 93% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 215.323595506 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.571847507331 0.4932671777 116% => OK
syllable_count: 534.6 704.065955056 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.4949223178 60.3974514979 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.4 118.986275619 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7333333333 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.4 5.21951772744 161% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.294055477908 0.243740707755 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111343782363 0.0831039109588 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.202270951079 0.0758088955206 267% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21224479585 0.150359130593 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.215614601727 0.0667264976115 323% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 100.480337079 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.