Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Many would say that young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition. In some sense, it is true that fame and wealth at young ages are harmful to those who are not mature mentally. However, I still think that there is no reason that we should compel young people not being famous or gaining recognized from others.
Admittedly, in some cases, being popular is not always good and sometimes leads to tragic results. We can easily observe cases that popular young celebrities have become so arrogant and licentious that they ended up ruining their careers by themselves because of sexual scandals or drug abuse. In this regard, it is understandable that many people worry about the situations where the young have too much love from the public before the young grow up enough.
However, I still believe that fruits such as recognition from the public and peer groups could be a strong motivation for the young. Many students are educated in the formalized organization, and those who find their dream job earlier than the others have lack of opportunity to do activities aligned with their career plan and to gain feedback from other professionals. Consequently, their lack of opportunity related to their career easily discourages them from achieving their career goals. Conversely, if students gain fame and recognition at young age, it will encourage them a lot and help them to move future with more ambitious and long-term pursuits.
Moreover, there are jobs in which those who start at a young age have advantages. In some fields, young age itself has advantageous owing to one's physical performance or their appearance. For example, professional gamers are all young because the younger they are, the better they play. Also, players in most sports start their careers before they even get into college whose performances are the best when they are young enough. In addition, many singers and performers also start their careers at young ages because people generally are more favor of young performers.
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- read 73
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, conversely, however, if, moreover, so, still, for example, in addition, such as, in some cases, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 58.6224719101 65% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1743.0 2235.4752809 78% => OK
No of words: 341.0 442.535393258 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11143695015 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.55969084622 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62769689661 2.79657885939 94% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 215.323595506 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.574780058651 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 535.5 704.065955056 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1538276829 60.3974514979 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.2 118.986275619 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7333333333 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.4 5.21951772744 161% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296087042487 0.243740707755 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113140048276 0.0831039109588 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.202436678856 0.0758088955206 267% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212988143614 0.150359130593 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.216901352332 0.0667264976115 325% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.1392134831 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 100.480337079 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.