Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a long time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. Be sure to use your own words.
M any young people say that they want independence from their parents as soon as possible. In some senses , this position is understandable because young people can protect their privacy in their daily lives by being independent. However, I still think that living with parents for a longer period is advantageous for the reasons below.
First and foremost, young adults can save much time and money by staying at their family home. Being independent is costly. One has to pay for rent, groceries, and other fees by oneself. In contrast , one can split costs with family members. Similarly , one can save much time by sharing responsibilities for chores with family. According to recent statistics in South Korea, people who live alone spend twice as much on living costs as people who live with family. Additionally , those who live alone spend three times more time conducting mundane housework than those who live with family . In this regard, living with family saves both time and money.
Moreover, young people share moments with their family by living in the same house, which is beneficial to relationships within families. In particular, young people who are too busy to spend extra time with their family might have difficulty making good memories with their family. For instance, since my sister works for a consulting company, where she is extremely busy, my parents and I barely saw her when she lived independently near her company. However, since she moved into our home, our family has spent much more time together having breakfast and dinner every day . Thanks to our time spent together, our family bond is now stronger than ever before. In short, living together gives more chances to spend time with each other, which in turn enhances relationships among family members.
In conclusion, despite some benefits from being independent, I firmly believe that young adults gain more advantages if they live with their families for a longer time . Living with their family enables young people to save their money , liberates them from burdensome house chores, and ensures more family time.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-02 | Navis | 70 | view |
| 2019-10-21 | Kyunghwan Kim | 73 | view |
| 2019-10-21 | Kyunghwan Kim | 70 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: ,
...ents as soon as possible. In some senses , this position is understandable because...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...n is understandable because young people can protect their privacy in their daily...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and foremost, young adults can save much time and money by staying at their fami...
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... save much time and money by staying at their family home. Being independent is...
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Line 5, column 115, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...at their family home. Being independent is costly. One has to pay for rent, groc...
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Line 5, column 202, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
..., and other fees by oneself. In contrast , one can split costs with family members...
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Line 5, column 255, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...lit costs with family members. Similarly , one can save much time by sharing respo...
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Line 5, column 437, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...lone spend twice as much on living costs as people who live with family. Addition...
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Line 5, column 483, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...eople who live with family. Additionally , those who live alone spend three times ...
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Line 5, column 563, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...s more time conducting mundane housework than those who live with family . In thi...
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Line 5, column 596, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...usework than those who live with family . In this regard, living with family save...
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Line 9, column 250, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...heir family might have difficulty making good memories with their family. For ins...
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Line 9, column 577, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...er having breakfast and dinner every day . Thanks to our time spent together, our ...
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Line 13, column 117, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...e that young adults gain more advantages if they live with their families for a l...
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Line 13, column 169, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...ve with their families for a longer time . Living with their family enables young ...
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Line 13, column 237, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...enables young people to save their money , liberates them from burdensome house ch...
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Line 13, column 301, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...urdensome house chores, and ensures more family time.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, moreover, similarly, so, still, as to, for instance, in conclusion, in contrast, in particular, in short
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1769.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 344.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14244186047 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52868199498 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.543604651163 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 552.6 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.081915535 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.1052631579 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1052631579 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52631578947 5.45110844103 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.5376344086 307% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.382023197372 0.236089414692 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.135956459963 0.076458572812 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.082043103429 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279304113242 0.150856017488 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.064491422259 0.0645574589148 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.