Some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, some people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.(revised version)
The purpose of zoos is opened to questions these days. It has been argued that zoos are inhuman, while others think that zoos are necessary in terms of animal protection. In this essay, both views will be examined.
On one hand, kept animals are confronting with issues in terms of physical and mental health. The first point is that they sometimes are abused by zoo keepers either intentionally or unintentionally. For example, bears and tigers are left in the cages without any food or water during the summer time because of zoo keepers are during the lunch break, or dolphins are forced to make performance for visitors for long hours. Thus, some sociological findings indicate that a number of animals may end up being ill or in malnutrition. Meanwhile, it is against animals’ will to be caged or trained, which would lead to mental disorders. As any animals will be prone to losing psychological health when freedom is deprived.
On the other hand, since the human's interventions that lead to the animal extinction, it appears that the zoo might be the best option in protecting animals. For instance, most pandas are born inside the facilities in China, due to the disappearance of their inhabitants. With the intensive care and health management, the population of this national treasure is expected to rise gradually. However, one problem associated with this initiative is that animals may be prone to losing their gifted-nature, such as aggressiveness if they were raised by human and grew up in an artificial home.
In conclusion, although zoos can protect animals, it deprives animals of natural habits. More importantly, they have to endure unethical behaviours that undermine their health. For saying that, I believe zoos need to be close until there would be some improvement which have been made
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flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07
Pay attention to coherence.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 300 350
No. of Characters: 1476 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.162 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.92 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.74 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.058 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5