The line graph illustrates the total amount of fuel that was consumed by the US in 50 year period.
Let us take a look at the petrol and oil which remained the highest(35 quadrillion units) in 1980. Then dropped to 32 quadrillion units in 1985, but started to dramatically climbed to 49 quadrillion units by the year 2030. It has been followed by natural gas and coal which played in between 17-20 quadrillion units, even though it fluctuates but it has recovered in between 20-32 quadrillion units by 2030. Lastly, nuclear,solar or wind and hydro power consumption appears to be the least and it showed up in between 3-8 quadrillion units until the year 2030.
Meanwhile, petrol and oil consistently stayed on top and continued to inclined until 2030. However, nuclear, solar or wind and hydro power were utilized in an average before it reaches year 2030.
In sum, petrol and oil maintained its highest position when it comes to consumption while nuclear, solar or wind and hydro power remained the lowest.
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flaws:
Don't put two paragraphs for conclusion:
Meanwhile, petrol and oil consistently stayed on top and continued to inclined until 2030. However, nuclear, solar or wind and hydro power were utilized in an average before it reaches year 2030.
In sum, petrol and oil maintained its highest position when it comes to consumption while nuclear, solar or wind and hydro power remained the lowest.
better like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/you-should-spend-about-20-minutes-t…
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/climograph-below-shows-average-mont…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/table-below-gives-information-about…
Samples for this essay topic:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-2008-…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-below-gives-in…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 173 200
No. of Characters: 815 1000
No. of Different Words: 99 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.627 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.711 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.598 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 51 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 39 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.243 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.472 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.739 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.197 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4