Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

criminal is an act of crime that happens among people such as murder, theft, or sexual crime. In this topic, some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, to reduce the crime rate. I disagree that criminals must be given longer sentence in jail to decrease the crime rate because the length of the sentence does not decide to change the way of their lives and emergence a sense of injustice.

Firstly, duration of the sentence does not determine to change the way of their lives. By through period of punishment they can change the way of their lives. this is because when they were serving a sentence they can find the new journey of their lives because of the learning they got in a prison as they found their expertise from the program of jail. Therefore, be given longer terms for criminals in jail doesn't determine criminals to commit crime again even if criminals got a sentence longer than specified then they grudge against law enforcement. In brief, criminals should not be given longer period of their punishment to cut the crime rate.

Secondly, criminals will feel emergence of injustice. By having feelings like that will have bad impact for criminals, so this can actually make crime rates rise due to this inequity. consequently, this feeling of inequity causes resentment for criminals and does not cause a deterrent effect to reduce the crime rate. In short, give a long sentence than specified to criminals can make feel injustice for criminals.

In conclusion, give a long terms in jail to criminals will give bad effect for theirselves and doesn't determine to decrease the crime rate.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Criminal
criminal is an act of crime that happens among p...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd emergence a sense of injustice. Firstly, duration of the sentence does n...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 160, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...they can change the way of their lives. this is because when they were serving a sen...
^^^^
Line 9, column 411, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...iven longer terms for criminals in jail doesnt determine criminals to commit crime aga...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... punishment to cut the crime rate. Secondly, criminals will feel emergence ...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 185, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Consequently
... crime rates rise due to this inequity. consequently, this feeling of inequity causes resent...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...make feel injustice for criminals. In conclusion, give a long terms in jail...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 96, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ill give bad effect for theirselves and doesnt determine to decrease the crime rate.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, consequently, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, in brief, in conclusion, in short, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 41.998997996 98% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1386.0 1615.20841683 86% => OK
No of words: 279.0 315.596192385 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96774193548 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.08696624509 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49281543661 2.80592935109 89% => OK
Unique words: 126.0 176.041082164 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.451612903226 0.561755894193 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 422.1 506.74238477 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.3980047513 49.4020404114 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.615384615 106.682146367 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4615384615 20.7667163134 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.61538461538 7.06120827912 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.01903807615 159% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.67935871743 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 3.9879759519 301% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.326100587318 0.244688304435 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.143315533582 0.084324248473 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.15989229386 0.0667982634062 239% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214151801955 0.151304729494 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.141305644342 0.056905535591 248% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.0946893788 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 50.2224549098 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.3001002004 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.4159519038 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.22 8.58950901804 84% => OK
difficult_words: 45.0 78.4519038076 57% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.