Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the modern era, the education system has absorbed increasing attention to itself due to its importance. As different educational system has its advantage and disadvantage, parents are concerned about their children. They want to encourage them to study their lessons as pleasant as possible. A controversial question that arises here is how to encourage children and how to persuade them to study their lessons since studying is the most fatiguing job for the children. One of the possible ways to motivate the children is to give them money for each high mark they get. I strongly agree with this method, and I support this way because of its motive power. In the following sentences, I will elaborate on this.
The first vital point to bear in mind is that by giving the children money for each high grade, they will be eager to study more and also with high depth to get a top mark and receive money. To be more specific, our brain is eager to be praised as soon as possible and receive its reward. Due to some deficiencies in the different educational system, children are not able to have a broad perspective on their future, and they are not aware of their studying reasons. Moreover, there are some lessons which are incredibly dull such as geography and the Arabic language, which makes studying harder for students. On the other hand, in this way children will be more enthusiastic about learning those lessons which not only beneficial for their future but also help their general knowledge. For example, when I was a child, I hated Arabic language lessons, and I got poor grades in the exams. Once my mother told me if you study Arabic better and get a high mark, I will pay you five dollars. After that, I tried harder, and I was so motivated to study harder, and after three months, I became one of the top scores in our class.
The second reason which deserves some words to speak about is that, by paying money to the children, they can also learn how to manage their money as well. To be more precise, children should learn personal accounting as soon as possible, and this way is one of the most effective ones. Once the children study for the lesson and work hard for that, he or she is aware of the value of that money and also make a plan to save it or even invest it. For example, when I was a child, I had a box that I called it money box. I gathered all the received money in that box and saved them for myself to spend it when it is crucial. After my mother told me that she wants to pay me for every top mark, I became more avid to collect that money in my money box and save them. After a while, once I wanted to buy a PlayStation console, I took a look at the money box, and I got amazed. I have saved 768 dollars in that box, and guess what? The PlayStation console price was just 500 dollars, so I could buy some other stuff with the rest of the money or even save them for another circumstance.
To make the long short, I strongly agree with the idea of giving children money for each top mark since I have good memories of this method, and also I have tried this on my brother, and it worked as well. Just because some educational system suffers from deficiencies is not a good reason to leave the children alone, and parents' rule became more critical in this situation. So they have to encourage them to study because studying is beneficial for their future and they should do their best in this part of their life.
- TPO 48 - Integrated writing 80
- TPO 47 70
- Carved stone balls are a curious type of artifact found at a number of locations in Scotland They date from the late Neolithic period around 4 000 years ago They are round in shape they were carved from several types of stone most are about 70 mm in diame 63
- Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 87
- Carved stone balls are a curious type of artifact found at a number of locations in Scotland They date from the late Neolithic period around 4 000 years ago They are round in shape they were carved from several types of stone most are about 70 mm in diame 63
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, moreover, second, so, thus, well, while, for example, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 13.8261648746 195% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 95.0 43.0788530466 221% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2827.0 1977.66487455 143% => OK
No of words: 639.0 407.700716846 157% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.42410015649 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.02776782673 4.48103885553 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37383672886 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.408450704225 0.524837075471 78% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 894.6 618.680645161 145% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 11.0 1.86738351254 589% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.1760581414 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.703703704 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6666666667 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 11.8709677419 177% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286156065114 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0845303200641 0.076458572812 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0633978331212 0.0737576698707 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201757538522 0.150856017488 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0413880114491 0.0645574589148 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.65 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.12 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 86.8835125448 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.