The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians. "
The argument states that, Mozart School of Music, should be the first choice for parents considering their child in music lessons as it provides various benefits from age level, various instruments learning and also the Mozart School of Music has distinguished faculty. Stated in this way the argument is devoid of many crucial factors on which the argument could be evaluated. The conclusion of this argument depends on evidence that is not solid and crystal. Therefore, the argument is flawed, incomplete and unconvincing to the reader.
Firstly, the argument claims that, Mozart School of Music welcome youngsters at all ability and age levels and there is no audition is required to attend the school. The statement is incomplete, because if no audition and age level is required then how can anyone know their school selection criteria and other procedures. For instance, in Bangladesh, a symphony music school has launched two years ago, they did not provide any requirement of entry level and their choice criteria and in result they had not enough impacts to attract music learners. The statement could have been convincing, if it would explicitly described, the selection criteria and their procedures and age levels of students entry.
Secondly, the argument implies that, they will provide all musical instruments as well as styles and genres from classic to rock. The point is parochial because it did not clearly mentioned any specific instrument and any styles or genres, then the parents would be confused. For example, Beximco a business firm announces that, they will provide every benefits to their customers and their customers were confused this statement and in a report published recently says that, Beximco customers satisfaction has been decreased from highest to the lowest due to their capricious and doubtful proposal. The point would have been strengthened, if it would specify their teaching criteria for which instrument and music genres and specific styles.
Posing several questions unanswered from their selection criteria to their teaching materials, the argument creates a milieu where one would assume the author is a merely daydreamer rather than discreet.
In conclusion, as the argument is failed to answer many relevant question and creates a doubtful situation. And it is a prerequisite phenomenon for any argument to provide their statement in crystal and solid to convey their ideas to become a cogent and persuasive. On this criteria, the argument is flawed, incomplete and unconvincing to attract any discreet reader attention.
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2023-03-02 | tedyang777 | 69 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 617, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'describe'
Suggestion: describe
...been convincing, if it would explicitly described, the selection criteria and their proce...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 181, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'did' requires base form of the verb: 'mention'
Suggestion: mention
...is parochial because it did not clearly mentioned any specific instrument and any styles ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 163, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('merely') instead an adjective, or a noun ('daydreamer') instead of another adjective.
...eu where one would assume the author is a merely daydreamer rather than discreet. In conclusio...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 270, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...s to become a cogent and persuasive. On this criteria, the argument is flawed, incom...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, as to, for example, for instance, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 11.1786427146 215% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 16.3942115768 177% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2190.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 406.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.39408866995 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74599172036 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477832512315 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 662.4 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.8970037348 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.875 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.375 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.125 5.70786347227 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.276882598334 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.089702974215 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13225687901 0.0701772020484 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142793854349 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.113658995188 0.0628817314937 181% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.35 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.