The following appeared in a recommendation from the planning department of the city of Transopolis.
"Ten years ago, as part of a comprehensive urban renewal program, the city of Transopolis adapted for industrial use a large area of severely substandard housing near the freeway. Subsequently, several factories were constructed there, crime rates in the area declined, and property tax revenues for the entire city increased. To further revitalize the city, we should now take similar action in a declining residential area on the opposite side of the city. Since some houses and apartments in existing nearby neighbourhoods are currently unoccupied, alternate housing for those displaced by this action will be readily available."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It is stated in the recommendation made by planning department of the city that, they should take similar action of construction of industries in their city as they took ten years ago. Additionally, they also support argument by stating that crime rate was decreased and property tax revenue was increased ten year ago when this idea was implemented. However, before recommendation can properly evaluate, some question must be answer.
Firstly, what was the population ten year ago comparing to present time? Or do we have sufficient space to construct huge industry? Maybe, ten year ago population of the city was less and city was not so popular so it was plausible to bring industries in the city. But, now it is blatant that in ten years population of the city has increased and due to previous industries there is no more space in the city to build industries and seeing increase in population in past ten years it will be debacle to move housing to the other part of city. If this happens to be true then recommendation made by planning department of the city is attenuate.
Secondly, what is the possibility that citizen of Transopolis bolster this idea? Or what is the possibility that people of that area like this idea? Maybe, ten years ago as population was less and to improve the reputation of the city people supported this idea so they can get jobs in the industries. But, this time as the population is more it is blatant that people will face problem especially people living near that area. As for construction it required heavy budget and pollution also increases in nearby areas so it is plausible that people will not bolster this idea. If this happens to be true, then recommendation made by planning department of the city does not hold water.
Finally, how many people will agree to relocate? Or how many people will ready to move to other part of city? Tough some housing and apartment in the nearby neighbourhood is empty but there are some people living there and without their permission this project cannot be bring into existence. If this people don’t like the idea of relocating their apartment and housing then they will not bolster this idea. They may also revolt if they are force and this may exacerbate the situation. If this happens to be true then recommendation made by planning department is not practically possible.
In conclusion, evidence provided by planning department of the city, that support his claim, are dubious as well as erroneous. However, if all the question are answer and more evidence is provided then it will strengthen the argument.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2107 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.735 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.704 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.227 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.76 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 544, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...move housing to the other part of city. If this happens to be true then recommenda...
^^
Line 3, column 634, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'attenuated'.
Suggestion: attenuated
...e by planning department of the city is attenuate. Secondly, what is the possibility ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 297, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ject cannot be bring into existence. If this people don’t like the idea of relocatin...
^^^^
Line 7, column 487, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... and this may exacerbate the situation. If this happens to be true then recommenda...
^^
Line 7, column 591, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...department is not practically possible. In conclusion, evidence provided by plan...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 236, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d then it will strengthen the argument.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, as for, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 16.3942115768 183% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2166.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 444.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87837837838 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76330700345 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.407657657658 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 0.0 8.76447105788 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.2151461513 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.4545454545 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1818181818 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219983579737 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0745434596391 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0680299914103 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130824448104 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0799518794936 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.