While the goal of the argument which is to produce well-rounded and charitable members of society is noble and a good thought, the method proposed has a plethora of problems associated with it.
First, the objective of a university is to produce well-rounded active working members of a society which promotes the country's ecomony, while charity is a great way of understanding how to give back to society; forcing students into a mandatory charity service may have long term deleterious consequences or divert them altogether from the main goal of making them into charitable members of society. Charity done out of own free will is a reward of its own and an university can promote the awareness of any charity drives or organizations its supporting, however mandatory community service may cause them to perceive charity as free labour or irrelevant work which does not contribute them to becoming a more technically qualified individual which would be their main goal in joining an university in the first place.
Second, the proposed graduation requirement of completing at least 8 hours of unpaid community service per month for a total of 9 months could be difficult for students engaged in part-time jobs or internships that they are present in. Any students involved in part-time jobs are already in the process of acquiring real-world working experience and find it difficult to balance studies and work life, thus incorporating mandatory community service on top of this may prove to a hassle. This may cause them to lose focus in either studies or their jobs having more profound implications in their personal life deviating them from the proposed universities objective. Furthermore, many students involved in part-time jobs may do so to have some financial stability to support their studies, forcing unpaid service may render them unable to maintain their financials, thus could be a valid reason for them to quit university altogether.
Third, any university is not within its rights to force students in what can be preceived as free labour, even in the good name of charity. A university's responsibility to provide the education needed by the individual to help them better pursue their dreams and passions. Local charities that are in need can hire volunteers whose interests are more in line with the charity organization that producing better results based on any funds provided by the university, rather than providing students whose interest may not align.
In conclusion, eventhough the argument puts forth a noble goal of creating well rounded and charitable members of society, it is not within its rights to force its students into activities that is not in line with their interests. Thus, it causes a detrimental effect on students that partake and deviate them the thought of charity altogether.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 459 350
No. of Characters: 2338 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.629 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.094 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.861 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.051 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.685 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.225 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 277, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'termed'.
Suggestion: termed
...mandatory charity service may have long term deleterious consequences or divert them...
^^^^
Line 3, column 464, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...wn free will is a reward of its own and an university can promote the awareness of...
^^
Line 3, column 789, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ich would be their main goal in joining an university in the first place. Secon...
^^
Line 7, column 141, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'An' instead of 'A' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: An
...bour, even in the good name of charity. A universitys responsibility to provide t...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, third, thus, well, while, at least, in conclusion, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2380.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 459.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18518518519 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90391796451 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498910675381 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 760.5 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 38.0 22.8473053892 166% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 92.4717299142 57.8364921388 160% => OK
Chars per sentence: 198.333333333 119.503703932 166% => OK
Words per sentence: 38.25 23.324526521 164% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3333333333 5.70786347227 181% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201928283835 0.218282227539 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0805292488311 0.0743258471296 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0349119739399 0.0701772020484 50% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106814351836 0.128457276422 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0364789435151 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.1 14.3799401198 154% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 24.45 48.3550499002 51% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 19.3 12.197005988 158% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.62 8.32208582834 116% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 98.500998004 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 12.3882235529 161% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.2 11.1389221557 154% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.