The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company.
"When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It is stated in the memo that XYZ company continue using the services of Delany Personnel Firm to provide assistance to its laid-off employees in finding a new job rather than switching to Walsh Personnel Firm as Delany takes less time to help them find new jobs, Delany has bigger staff and more branches and also, eight years ago, only half of the laid-off employees found jobs through Walsh's Firm. Though, at first glance, the evidence looks convincing, upon further contemplation, one would require further peices of evidence to properly evaluate the recommendation.
Firstly, the memo mentions that eight years ago, when XYZ company was using the services of Walsh Presonnel Firm, only half of the employees who were laid-off were able to find a new job. To understand the efficacy of Walsh Firm, one would require to know the number of laid-off employees that had actually availed the services of Walsh. Perhaps, only half of the laid-off employees made use of Walsh services and all of them were able to find a new job. In contrast, there is a possibility that the job market eight years ago was such that there were not many job openings and hence, it was quite difficult to secure a new job no matter who the service provider was. If either of the above scenarios had merit, then the author's conclusion that Walsh Personnel Firm is not capable enough to provide good serices does not hold water.
Secondly, the author asserts that Delany's clients took only six months to find a new job where as Walsh clients took nine months on average to find a new job. The author, however, does not mention the kind of jobs that the Delany's clients were able to join in. When an employee is laid-off, he/she will be desperate to find a new job and more often than not, they either reduce the salary requirements or aim for a lower position job to increase their chances of finding a new job. Perhaps, Delany handle clients that have lesser requirements in their new jobs than those which they had in the previous and hence, were able to find new jobs in lesser time. On the other hand, Walsh may be handling clients that demand the same or higher salary or position as they had in their previous job and therefore, take more time to secure a new job. If the above case turns out to be true, then the author's argument is significantly weakened.
Finally, the author fallaciously assumes the Delany is more efficient than Walsh for Delany employes larger staff and they have more branches. However, this may not be true. There is every possibility that Walsh is using state of the art technology to run their business which enables them to operate with less staff and branches. In contrast, Delany might be using out dated technology that necessitates it to operate with more personnel and branches. Hence, one would require evidence about the typing of technology to accurately guage the efficacy of both the firms.
Therefore, the argument, as it stands, is unpersuasive as the evidence that are provided in the argument are ambigous and misleading. One will be in a better position to evaluate the soundness of the recommendation if the author can provide information about the above mentioned evidence.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 14 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 555 350
No. of Characters: 2595 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.854 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.676 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.453 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.7 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.85 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nding a new job rather than switching to Walsh Personnel Firm as Delany takes les...
^^
Line 4, column 249, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'knowing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: knowing
...ficacy of Walsh Firm, one would require to know the number of laid-off employees that h...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 722, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...the above scenarios had merit, then the authors conclusion that Walsh Personnel Firm is...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 90, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
... took only six months to find a new job where as Walsh clients took nine months on avera...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 891, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ove case turns out to be true, then the authors argument is significantly weakened. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 222, Rule ID: STATE_OF_THE_ART[1]
Message: Did you mean 'state-of-the-art'?
Suggestion: state-of-the-art
...s every possibility that Walsh is using state of the art technology to run their business which ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, in contrast, kind of, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2667.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 554.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81407942238 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85151570047 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50914798547 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.415162454874 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 833.4 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.8354494508 57.8364921388 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.35 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.7 23.324526521 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5 5.70786347227 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178324113939 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0580567060916 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0784128242124 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108542802552 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0923569560912 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.