The bar chart shows the percentage of unemployed graduates
The bar chart compares the percentage of unemployed graduates between men and women from January to October in 2008 and 2009. It can be clearly seen that the most unemployed graduates is men.
In the year 2008, it was noticeable that October was the month where graduates were mostly not employed. As we can see, the men were the highest percentage of people who were jobless by 16% while the women were just over 10%. On the contrary, both genders worked mostly on April and July in which the rates of employment in these months were similar, by around 8% and 6% for men and women respectively.
If we look at the figures in 2009, both genders show similar tendency where the graduates had no jobs on October, by 23% and 14% (males and females). On the other hand, it was on July men had a highest percentage of employment while the women were on April, approximately 11% and 6% in sequence.
To sum up, between the year 2008 and 2009, males were by far the most unemployed graduates, and the two genders mostly did not work in 2009.
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Comments
Thank you sir for your
Thank you sir for your comment.
Sentence: On the other hand, it was on July men had a highest percentage
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an adjective, superlative
Suggestion: Refer to a and highest
How about this?
On the other hand, it was on July men had the highest percentage
Thank you
On the other hand, it was on
On the other hand, it was on July that men had the highest percentage
Sorry sir, what is the
Sorry sir, what is the function of 'that' in your sentence?
On the other hand, it was on July that men had the highest percentage
As far as I know, the function of 'that' is to add information. So,
what is the difference with my sentence (without 'that')?
Thank you
sorry, better to use 'when'
sorry, better to use 'when' instead of 'that' here because of the date:
On the other hand, it was on July when men had the highest percentage
Cleft Sentences: It
Sentences introduced by 'It is' or 'It was' are often used to emphasize a specific subject or object. The introductory clause is then followed by a relative pronoun.
Examples:
It was I who received the promotion.
It is the awful weather that drives him crazy.
It was my brother who bought his new car from our neighbour last Saturday.
It was last Saturday when my brother bought his new car from our neighbour.
It was a new car that my brother bought from our neighbour last Saturday.
It was our next-door neighbour that my brother bought his new car from last Saturday.
the most unemployed graduates is men.
the most unemployed graduates are men.
October was the month where graduates...
October was the month when graduates...
the men were the highest percentage
the men have the highest percentage
both genders show similar tendency where the graduates had no jobs
both genders show similar tendency while the graduates had no jobs //'where' is for location
while the women were on April, approximately 11% and 6%...
while the women were approximately 11% on April and 6%...
Sentence: On the other hand, it was on July men had a highest percentage
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an adjective, superlative
Suggestion: Refer to a and highest
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
don't refer something new:
'and the two genders mostly did not work in 2009.'
write whatever you see from the graphs.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 189 200
No. of Characters: 814 1000
No. of Different Words: 97 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.708 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.307 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.413 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 45 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 21 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.978 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.47 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.723 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4