Globalization has been one of the most studied economic factors in the last 50 years. Many people hold the opinion that such a process of international integration between markets, products, ideas and cultures may represent a positive step in the world economy. Other, however, disagree with this view, enhancing its negative aspects, such as the loss of the unique features that every local market has, with the resulting homogeneity and monopolization of local businesses.
On one side, global interchange of goods, ideas and people represents the most useful and advantageous characteristic of the world economy. Certainly, the opportunity to cross national and local borders and to improve their incomes is the main positive result of globalization for trading companies. In Italy, for instance, many different industries, such as Ferrero Spa, have been increasing their sales volume in the last decades, by enlarging their sales range towards new country economies.
On the other hand, however, the disadvantages still remain visible to all of us. In particular, the possibility of finding the same shops selling the same variety of items in almost every corner of the world can be alarming. In other words, every country has its own culture with its peculiar foods and specific areas of economic growth, which allow us to identify it among every other. For example, the incipient spreading of international chains in Italy, such as Starbucks, can lead to the disappearance of our unique “caffetterie”, the traditional Italian bars.
Nevertheless, one of the major risks in globalization could be represented by the ascent of few world-leading companies that could monopolize and keep in their hands a big slice of market. As a result, many local factories, or even neighbourhood shops, could be forced to close their activities, due to the fact that their slice of market could be stolen by major companies.
In conclusions, our economy is undoubtedly receiving great advantages from global markets, but, in my opinion, economists should study strategies in order to keep the best from both globalization and local markets. In short, we should not waste this opportunity to improve the world economy.
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Any advice on how to improve?
Any advice on how to improve? Unfortunately, I need more than 7.
The main issue of the essay
The main issue of the essay is because of 'On the other hand, however,' and 'Nevertheless'. The structure of the essay is broken. Other than that, the essay can get 7.5 or over.
Maybe I should have used "in
Maybe I should have used "in contrast" for the third paragraph and "furthermore" in the fourth, they probably would have fitted better. Do you agree?
You are right. See our
You are right.
See our patterns for beginners:
paragraph 1: introduction -- explain in your own words about the issue and give a thesis statement at the end. Give a reasonable not a dogmatic statement.
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 4: qualification -- moderate your position. This may involve a sentence beginning with "but" or "however"...
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
flaws:
'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1803 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.151 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.92 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.568 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.611 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5