Claim: Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system.
Reason: Laws cannot change what is in people's hearts or minds.
In this society, it is debatable whether laws are useful. I agree with the claim that many problems cannot be solved by the legal system; however, I disagree with the reason in that laws can alter what is in people’s hearts or minds.
Granted, a few problems can be completely solved by laws. During the period where slavery was prevalent, such problems could not be solved by people’s resistance and actions. Later, Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation that declared the freedom of all slaves in the Confederate states of America. Later, the 13th Amendment in the United States Constitution officially abolished slavery. In this case, these laws were able to regulate the issue of slavery. Thus, a few societal problems can be solved by the law.
However, in most cases, law cannot remedy societal ills. With the advent of globalization, the computer and the Internet have allowed people of different walks and backgrounds to readily access the same information. As people surf the Web, Internet users suffer from anonymous slander, and this cannot be legislated by the legal system. Although laws are mandated and punish people who infringe upon the law, these problems cannot be solved completely. Thus, as long as such problems continue to exist in society, it is evident that laws cannot solve many societal issues.
Although laws cannot solve problems completely, they can reduce problems; thus I disagree with the author’s reason and believe that laws can alter what is in people’ minds. For example, the Enron scandal that involved the American energy Enron Corporation and the accounting firm Arthur Anderson revealed that the laws can change people’s thoughts. Enron executives used accounting loopholes and poor financing reporting to hide the billions in debt from failed projects. As a result of the legal system, not only were many executives at Enron sentenced to prion but also the Sarbanes-Oxley Act impeded future accounting violation from occurring. Even though this law cannot completely solve problems, people in the future would hesitate in committing violations. As a result, the punishment of laws can change people’s minds.
In brief, many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws; however, stating that laws cannot alter what is in people’s minds undermines the authority of the legal system. At worst, laws allow people to rethink the consequences of their immoral acts, and at best, they can abstain from such behavior. Both cases yield the reduction of immoral behavior.
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flaws:
Don't start argument from the introduction.
Don't separate the claims and reasons.
No. of Words: 407 while No. of Different Words: 194
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/claim-many-problems-modern-societ…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 2064 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.071 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.543 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.279 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.409 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5