TPO 8 – Task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Television advertising directed toward young children ( aged two to five) should not be allowed.
Television advertising comprises a major part of television programs. Every day, a person sees various advertisements on the television, including children. Some people agree that children should not be allowed to watch television advertising directed toward them, others disagree. In my perspective, I agree with the statement and here are my justifications.
To begin with, such advertisements could possibly have a negative effect on the children. In many societies, the question of to what extent the television advertisement affect the kids' cognitive growth has become a contentious issue of debate among the psychologists and caused quite a stir in numerous circles and camps. Children might be inclined to follow an extravagant lifestyle in the future as a result of these advertisements. Indeed, the companies, making these advertisements, only care about making more profit; hence, they do research to find out the exact needs of children aged two to five, and then use tricky advertising strategies to sell abundant number of their products. By watching them, children unconsciously are obsessed with the products, and then they might enforce their parents to buy those products, which they might not need at all. This leads to not only an extravagant lifestyle, but also financial pressure on their parents.
Besides the above-mentioned reason, these television advertisements can ruin the development process of the children. Instead of playing and doing the activities, which assist the children to use their mind and imagination, they only watch ridiculous television advertising. In fact, these advertisements prevent the children from being innovative and developing new ideas from their own thoughts. What's more, getting less sociable could be another issue. When the children spend most of their time watching television advertising, since the sound and visual effects attract them, they do not spend enough time contacting with other kids and improving their social skills. Consequently, they will face many problems in the future.
All in all, although some other sophisticate people may prove the otherwise, I reiterate that young children should not be allowed to watch television advertising based on the reasons I discussed in the body paragraphs.
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flaws:
You changed the topic:
Some people agree that children should not be allowed to watch television advertising directed toward them,
I reiterate that young children should not be allowed to watch television advertising
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1879 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.399 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.01 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.471 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.273 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5