The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.
"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increasingly more time to covering national news and less time to covering weather and local news. During the same time period, most of the complaints we received from viewers were concerned with the station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, several local businesses that used to run advertisements during our late-night news program have just cancelled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to our news programs and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should expand the coverage of weather and local news on all our news programs."
The business manager claims that the reduction in weather and local news is directly responsible for the reduction in advertising revenues. The manager backs this up with complaints received from viewers. On examination, this argument requires further evidence to back up the strong recommendations it makes.
The manager writes that most complaints have concerned coverage of weather and local news but there is no mention of the nature of these complaints. The complaints could possibly be about the accuracy of the news rather than the amount of the news. Also, there is no mention of the trend in complaints. It is possible that the overall number of complaints have reduced since the switch in programming and only a few dedicated number of persons are responsible for the complaints.
The business manager also writes that local businesses have canceled their contracts in the time since the change in programming. That the change in programming happened first does not mean it led to this reduction. There are many other possible explanations. The local economy could be taking a hit and businesses are cutting back on costs. Another television station in the area may have significantly lowered its advertising costs and local businesses are switching solely for this purpose. This might also be an industry-wide phenomenon with advertisements increasingly moving away from the television to the internet.
In all, to strengthen or weaken the business manager's recommendation, we need the following additional information: recent changes the competition have made; recent changes in the television station's environment beyond the control of the station; the nature and volume of complaints made by viewers. If the total volume of complaints have risen and the complaints are about the drop in local and weather news, and no other changes have been made within the television station and its external environment, then the business manager's argument would be strengthened. If this is not the case, the argument would be weakened.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
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flaws:
Need one more paragraph to argue against the conclusion:
'Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to our news programs and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should expand the coverage of weather and local news on all our news programs.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 322 350
No. of Characters: 1689 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.236 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.245 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.932 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.535 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5