The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence
would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument above is well-presented and appears to be cogent at first glance: since a recent survey and sales of products indicate that the citizens of Forsythe have cared about their health, it seems logical to argue that they have adopted more healthful lifestyles over the last ten years. However, as more light is shed on the issue and more detailed facts are concerned, the lack of concrete evidence leads me to question the validity of the argument.
First of all, the author needs to provide more solid evidence whether the result of recent survey can be taken at face value. Since the survey reveals that the residents of Forsythe conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did the years ago, the author rashly believes that people are more likely to maintain healthier eating habits than they were in the past. However, the author should take into account the possibility that the government nutritional standard might have changed over the years, and it has become less rigid compared to the past recommendation. In such a case, it is not cogent to assert that Forsythe people have adopted healthier lifestyles over the years, and therefore, the author’s argument can be weakened.
Moreover, the author should supplement the argument with more concrete evidence on increased sales of food products containing kiran. The author hastily assumes that the sale of these products have increased because people have cared more about their health in comparison to the past. However, it should be considered that the sales have inclined not because people want to eat healthier food but because the overall population in Forsythe has increased over the years. If this would be the case, it might be natural to see the increase in sales of Kiran contained food products. Therefore, the author should provide more detailed information on the population of Forsythe to attest the credibility of his assertion.
Lastly, the author should provide more valid evidence to corroborate the causal relationship between the reduced sales of sulia and people’s preference to consume healthy food. Without valid supporting evidence, the author concludes that the decrease in sales of sulia is due to the trend of eating healthy food. However, the author needs to deem other factors that might influence the people’s purchasing habits. In all likelihood, people might be not able to buy products containing sulia because the costs of them are exorbitant. In such a case, current decrease in sulia may not be caused by people’s tendency to consume healthy food, and therefore, it would not be persuasive to contend that relationship of sulia and people’s healthful lifestyles.
To sum up, the aforementioned argument is not reasonable on many grounds. To bolster the argument, the author should provide all the evidence mentioned above.
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argument 1 -- if the government nutritional recommendations keep on the same, how are going to argue against?
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2347 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.08 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.393 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.377 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5