Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Almost most of the people agree that money is always a good stimulation for any one to do any thing. Personally, I believe that an exterior encouragement like money would cause children to have better performance at school. I feel this way for two reasons, ehich I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, we all have different assortment of motivatins and causes for our daily activity. We all want to achieve something precious in return of effort we invest on something. However, students, especially those of very young ages, might not find good grades and studying as a kind of thing that would bring benefits to them; therfore they simply don't try for it, but if they know that a wage is expecting them as a result of their effort, they would happily do their best, and in the future , when they get older, will discern other positive aspects of their education.
Moreover, by giving children a little amount of money as a trophy of their hard work, they can practice spending money wisely from young age. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I recieved money from the age I started my education at elementary school due to my great grades. As long as it wasn't that large amount of money I used to save and summon it with my other money like pocket money to get my favorite barbie house. It was a dream of my childhood and I bought it on my second grade. Since then I learnt how to collect money and being patient to finally achieve what I really want.
In conclusion, I agree with giving prize to the children for the effort they put on their studies and this prize can be anything, including money. Money can be a motivation for them and gives them the feeling of a real achievment, plus if it would be money they can learn how to use it or save it from very young age.

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 77, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'anyone'?
Suggestion: anyone
... money is always a good stimulation for any one to do any thing. Personally, I believe ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 91, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'anything'?
Suggestion: anything
...ys a good stimulation for any one to do any thing. Personally, I believe that an exterior...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 354, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... benefits to them; therfore they simply dont try for it, but if they know that a wag...
^^^^
Line 2, column 498, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...happily do their best, and in the future , when they get older, will discern other...
^^
Line 3, column 310, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...l due to my great grades. As long as it wasnt that large amount of money I used to sa...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, moreover, really, second, so, then, i feel, in conclusion, kind of, as a result, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1479.0 1977.66487455 75% => OK
No of words: 332.0 407.700716846 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.45481927711 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.2685907696 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4343002505 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.560240963855 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 468.0 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 80.5011091317 48.9658058833 164% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.642857143 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7142857143 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.64285714286 5.45110844103 159% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255625062612 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0825263524695 0.076458572812 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.045555913047 0.0737576698707 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150810152424 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0132506662591 0.0645574589148 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.83 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.82 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.