Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. Be sure to use your own words. Do not use memorized examples.
A Costly Independence
Independence seems to be a very tempting idea to young adults, since they have been living for 18 years under the constant control of their parents to whose will they can legally defy now. However, it is utterly unwise for young adults to move out as soon as they turn 18, because independence without self-discipline and a stable income is merely a mirage and could only lead to a miserable life.
Every teenager’s dream is to become adult one day so that they can do whatever they fanc ywithout being intervened by their parents. But when they put some thought in to it, what they have fancied usually has nothing to do with being an adult. Such naïve thoughts might include being able to hang out till midnight, chasing the thrill of dangerous activities or anything that their parents may disapprove. It is true that independence could help to ensure the realization of these reckless fancies, though, being out of the reach of parental interference, most of these thoughts could easily set one’s life on a perilous course. The true meaning of independence, which demands self-discipline and sense of responsibility, often slips the young’s minds, as it usually takes a longer time to cultivate these virtues than to grow into adulthood.
If one is confident of one’s self-discipline, the ability to procure a stable income which can support a decent life is another factor that must be taken into account before rushing into independence. As it is deeply installed in our traditional view, young adults shouldn’t snuggle any more under their parents’ protective wings once they meet the conventional standards. And some of these would-be adults take pride in practicing this view to show the world that they are strong enough. Unfortunately, the real world will soon smash their arrogance into pieces, because few fresh graduates can confidently say they can live on their first-year salaries, providing they even have a job. This so-called independence the home-leaving proudly enjoy is in fact based on the financial aid from whom they desperately try to leave. This selfish act would not only increase a family’s burden financially, but also lower the standard of living for the young adult. If they truly believe independence is the requisite of adulthood, they must first understand what is behind the true meaning of it.
With so much being said, I am not against young people seeking independence. On the contrary, I encourage them to do so, only with a bit more self-discipline and a way to support themselves. After all, independence isn’t as simple as moving out, which is so obvious that every grown-up should understand.
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, after all, in fact, it is true, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2251.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 443.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08126410835 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92626547335 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.582392776524 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 687.6 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 44.7898592082 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.411764706 100.406767564 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0588235294 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.11764705882 5.45110844103 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253040994126 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0845428929602 0.076458572812 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0399000917774 0.0737576698707 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139637382402 0.150856017488 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0477254684282 0.0645574589148 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 11.7677419355 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 86.8835125448 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.