The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart elucidates the proportion of the retail sales for travel, film/music, books and clothes through online between the year of 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand.

In 2003, the highest sales were recorded as travel and clothes, which portion accounted more than half of total retail sales in New Zealand. Kiwi people have consumed their money on travel (26%) and clothes (24%) in 2003, which decreased to 29% and 16% by 2013, respectively.

In contrast, the shares of film/music and books were the least spending in 2003 of 21% and 19%, respectively. It is apparent that, there is an increa...

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the highest sales were recorded as travel and clothes, which portion accounted more than half of total retail sales in New Zealand //which is not used properly
the highest sales were recorded as travel and clothes, which accounted more than half of total retail sales in New Zealand
the highest sales were recorded as travel and clothes, while the portion accounted more than half of total retail sales in New Zealand

Kiwi people have consumed their money on travel (26%) and clothes (24%) in 2003
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 197 200
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.746 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.426 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 20 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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