The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than six hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. On the basis of this study, we recommend that businesses hire only people who need less than six hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author of the article in a business magazine recommends hiring only people who need to have less than six hours of sleep per night. This conclusion is buttressed by the result of recent research. To give a comprehensive estimation of soundness of the argument we need to look at the evidence closer.
First of all we know that the study was conducted with 300 male and female who work in advertising business. The originator of the argument tends to extrapolate the result of this particlular research on all nations, countries and kinds of business. Is this arrogant extrapolation reasonable? Perhaps 300 people is not enough to reparesent the whole planet popluation, the study should include many nations and countries, we need to know who were inlude in the sample of the research. What is per cent of men and women in the sample? In other words, to accept the writer's conclusion we need to learn more about the sample of the study.
Moreover, the study was carried out with one kind of business activity - advertising, probably, the usage of the data which was acquired with one particular branch of business is unwarranted due to the fact that each business has its specific and oddities, for instance, the exucutive of a software company has different characteristics than a CEO of a company which advertises some products. Thus, the implementation of the recommendation in any field except the advertising is questionable.
Furthermore, we were told that the most successful executives claim to need only six hours of sleep per night. At the same time, the probability exists that we confuse the correlation and causation. Perhaps executives who work at the most lucrative and successful firms are overloaded with the work and therefore they cannot afford to sleep more than six hours. Probably, the firm's success may work as energetic for these people. For instance, if an executive knows that tomorrow he or she will sign an agreement with brings them millions of revenue, the one cannot sleep and anxiously wait for the dawn. In other words, the writer's opinion that the number of hours which a person needs impact on success of a firm on which the person works is not supported properly.
In conlusion, the given argument maintains that if an executives need to sleep less than 6 hours per night, the firm which is hired them will have more profit is not supported properly. In fact, the given data is extrapolated unreasonably and the sample of the study is too narrow to be used for the whole population of the planet.
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Sentence: The originator of the argument tends to extrapolate the result of this particlular research on all nations, countries and kinds of business.
Error: particlular Suggestion: particular
Sentence: Perhaps 300 people is not enough to reparesent the whole planet popluation, the study should include many nations and countries, we need to know who were inlude in the sample of the research.
Error: inlude Suggestion: include
Error: popluation Suggestion: population
Error: reparesent Suggestion: represent
Sentence: Moreover, the study was carried out with one kind of business activity - advertising, probably, the usage of the data which was acquired with one particular branch of business is unwarranted due to the fact that each business has its specific and oddities, for instance, the exucutive of a software company has different characteristics than a CEO of a company which advertises some products.
Error: exucutive Suggestion: executive
Sentence: In conlusion, the given argument maintains that if an executives need to sleep less than 6 hours per night, the firm which is hired them will have more profit is not supported properly.
Error: conlusion Suggestion: confusion
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argument 1 -- better: the date reported is the average of sleeping length, so the company’s growth may have actually happened when the executives had longer rest;
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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read a sample with same arguments but with more logical connections among paragraphs:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2064 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.778 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.735 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.477 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.524 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5