The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The particular bar chart combined with the line graph provide an overview concerning about the amounts of Japanese tourists who traveled foreign countries during a decade (between 1985 and 1995 ) and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market. One of the first thing to note in the former is that the rate Japanese tourists travelling abroad rised rapidly from 1985 until 1990 and continued increasing with slight fluctuations in the second five years whilst in the line graph the percentage of visiting Australia suffered from great decline moving on to 1990 from 1989s.
From the first glance at the visuals it turns out to be that the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad always increased exponentially except some decrease in 1991 and 1993 and eventually it reached its peak at the end of a decade (in 1985 it comprised of 5 million people and 1995 it was about 15 million)
Moving on to the second chart one can discern a conspicious fact that although the line enjoyed gradual increment between 1985 and 1989 reaching to 1990 it suffered from great decline (in 1985: it was 2 %, in 1989: 5 % respectively). The line expressed its marginal downward trend after gradual increase ( in 1995: it was 6 % and in 1994: it was 6.2 % correspondently).
Overall by way of conclusion it can be inferred from the charts that the line ( percentage visiting Australia) finished the year with the marginal decline whereas in bar chart the figures revealed its upward trend at the end of a decade.
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The particular bar chart combined with the line graph provide an overview
The particular bar chart ... provides an overview
One of the first thing to note
One of the first things to note
enjoyed gradual increment
enjoyed a gradual increment
after gradual increase
after a gradual increase
Sentence: One of the first thing to note in the former is that the rate Japanese tourists travelling abroad rised rapidly from 1985 until 1990 and continued increasing with slight fluctuations in the second five years whilst in the line graph the percentage of visiting Australia suffered from great decline moving on to 1990 from 1989s.
Error: rised Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Moving on to the second chart one can discern a conspicious fact that although the line enjoyed gradual increment between 1985 and 1989 reaching to 1990 it suffered from great decline in 1985: it was 2 , in 1989: 5 respectively.
Error: conspicious Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The line expressed its marginal downward trend after gradual increase in 1995: it was 6 and in 1994: it was 6.2 correspondently.
Error: correspondently Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 253 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 6 10
No. of Words: 253 200
No. of Characters: 1216 1000
No. of Different Words: 131 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.988 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.806 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.64 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 42.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.654 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.528 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.831 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4