Some people believe that society should try to save every plant and animal species, despite the expense to humans in effort, time, and financial well-being. Others believe that society need not make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
The given issue concerns serious matter - is it worth spending great amount of resources in order to save every plant and animal species. The modern world tends to be divided on two main camps: eco mind people and people who do not care about the environment at all. This question is rather keen in nowadays, because the nature is subjected to the enormous pressure from industrial and city expansions. Considering the industrial expansion, I support the first group of people - eco mind.
An economic of any country try to develop as fast as it can, however, the price of such development is a loss of ecological stability. There is an extraordinary example of such case in my native region - the sought part of Russia. The famous Sochi Olympic Winter games in 2014 were held successfully, but a few people know the real price of this event. In order to build all olympic objects the unique nature of this region was barbarously destroyed. And the main point of this story is that The Sochi region is famous resort in Russia too. However, after the disbalance of the ecological environment of this region, it turned to be very humid, and because of the high level of humidity a tourist flow became much weaker. Consequently, the eco mind people win in this story, because, they would not destroy the ecological environment of the region, and the tourist flow was the same. In this case, the firts part of issue is reasonable and it is wise to follow, because even in business realm is worth saving every plant and animal species.
The second argument for the eco camp is that such activity creates a lot of job places around the world. For example, the famous GreenPeace organization hires a lot of people to protect the wild nature. Plus, considering my own region, there are couple serious companies, which do the same thing, and hire a lot of ecologists. And it makes the economic situation more stable.
Probably, the last argument is a little bit philosophical but it is true. Activities which tend to safe and create something bring the moral satisfaction. Hence, even in this case, it worth spending a lot of resources to protect every plant and animal species.
To sum up, the given issue gives two contrast points of view, but I support the first part of the issue, because of the reasons, which are described above.
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Sentence: However, after the disbalance of the ecological environment of this region, it turned to be very humid, and because of the high level of humidity a tourist flow became much weaker.
Error: ecological Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: disbalance Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In this case, the firts part of issue is reasonable and it is wise to follow, because even in business realm is worth saving every plant and animal species.
Error: firts Suggestion: first
flaws:
No. of Words: 405 //More content wanted. For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
Need to compare to the opposite side in the fourth paragraph. like this:
paragraph 1: introduction. Suppose we support side A.
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example of reason 1 + a small conclusion (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1).
paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example of reason 2 + a small conclusion (like advantages of reason 2 or comparisons if not reason 2).
paragraph 4: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. First, ... Second, .... However, there is no causation/relation.... I still support side A. first,....second...
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 405 350
No. of Characters: 1865 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.605 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.48 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.115 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5