The account provides us with facts from a recent study that seem to be cogent at first glance and without taking into consideration any other explanations, one will easily corroborate with the conclusion that regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
Firstly, the study suggests that there are lower levels of tooth decay in the children of Nepal than the children living in suburban areas of United States. The study fails to take into account the oral hygiene that the children in the two different sets follow. A good oral hygiene equals better oral health and prevents tooth decay. The study does not elaborate on various aspects of oral hygiene exercised by the two different groups. The children from Nepal could be following rules like brushing the teeth twice in a day and gurgling properly after consuming food. The study does not provide us with such data.
Secondly, the study also does not provide us with the diets of the two different set of children that were studied. High sugar intake is often linked to greater tooth decay. The account does not include the average sugar intake of the children in each region. The children in suburban area would have greater access to 'Sugar Rich Chocolates' and 'Ice-creams'. However, the children of Nepal may not be privy to such confectioneries. The study does not cast any light on the sugar intake data. Moreover, the higher the chances of tooth decay means the higher the visits required to the dentist.
Finally, the account suggests that a higher number of visits to dentists translates into lesser tooth decay. We cannot simply assume this.A lot of people visit dentists and hospitals after a lot of damage is already done. It might as well be that the children visiting the dentist already have such levels of tooth decay that it is irreversible. Therefore, the timing of dentist visit is also crucial.
In conclusion, the conclusion of study is flawed unless otherwise substantiated with concrete evidence. The study fails to take into account various factors that lead to tooth decay and therefore, to conclude that regular dental care is not helpful is not right.
- TOEFL integrated writing Altruism 61
- A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal re 50
- The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper."The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time perio 66
- "The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition." - Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or dis 16
- Argument Topic: "The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 571, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...gurgling properly after consuming food. The study does not provide us with such dat...
^^^
Line 7, column 139, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: A
...oth decay. We cannot simply assume this.A lot of people visit dentists and hospit...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 16.3942115768 12% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1797.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 362.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96408839779 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45099866645 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 204.123752495 82% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46408839779 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 558.0 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 18.0 8.76447105788 205% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.5028607404 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.85 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.55 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274395947573 0.218282227539 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0870710393867 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107518205163 0.0701772020484 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134845965155 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.078458243137 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 11.19 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.