Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
People often buy products not because they really need them, but because other people have them.
In the contemporary society, much ink has been spilled about why people buy the things they why. Some people claim that people often buy products not because they really need them, but because other people have them. Such assertion, however, is torn to pieces by others. As far as I am concerned, this statement is arbitrary and one-sided because it fails to take all the related circumstances into consideration. We should analyze this statement comprehensively before we draw the eventual conclusion.
To begin with, many people do not have spare money to but the products that is unnecessary. In China, ten percent of the population process almost ninety percent of the entire fortune of the country, leaving huge amount of people still struggle to meet the basic requirements of living a life, like health care and education. Not to mention the price of the house is through the roof. For example, people in the rural area invest all of their fortune to buy a house located in the urban area so that their children are able to have the opportunities to access the education that is far more better than what they can get back in the rural area. With that being said, these people are not likely to spend money on unnecessary things because they need to save the money for their future.
Moreover, modern society has put a lot of pressure on people, making have no have time to figure out what products others have and they do not. Young people, especially those living in the big city, spend all their time surviving. High life expense provides them no spare time and money to focus on others. For instance, my uncle, who lives in Beijing, works ten hours a day, from Monday to Friday. He cannot afford the house close to his company; therefore he rents a house that is far away, and takes him two hours to commute. He usually gets up at six o’clock and comes back home at ten. Sometimes he brings extra work back to finish during weekends. We had a conversation last week when he told me he had not go shopping for a long time. He only grabbed what he really needs on his way home. Thus, people nowadays spend all their time living their own lives and have no time to pay attention to others.
Admittedly, some people will buy the products because others around them have it. After trying the products, they are fascinated about the products. Also, they want to keep up with their peers. It is not a rare case that a high school student begs his parents to buy a new released iPhone not only because he needs the new added function, but also he does not to be left behind by his classmates. What he does not know is that the parents of the student using iPhone have the income that is three times more than that of his parents. To buy an iPhone will cost his parents a lot, but for his classmate a new iPhone is only a piece of cake. So we cannot just purchase the products just because other people have it. It is important to evaluate ourselves before we actually pay for the product.
In brief, based on the previous discussion, the issue whether or not people often buy products because others have them is complex and needs a case by case analysis. We are not supposed to disregards those situations where the statement is unjustifiable. As a result, I can not totally agree with this statement.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 587, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE
Message: Use only 'better' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
...ies to access the education that is far more better than what they can get back in the rura...
Line 9, column 55, Rule ID: WHETHER
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
...d on the previous discussion, the issue whether or not people often buy products because other...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, moreover, really, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in brief, such as, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 52.1666666667 140% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2729.0 1977.66487455 138% => OK
No of words: 596.0 407.700716846 146% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.5788590604 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94096258147 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42802047627 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 291.0 212.727598566 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.488255033557 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 866.7 618.680645161 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 20.6003584229 150% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.5504057096 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.0322580645 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2258064516 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.90322580645 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 17.0 4.88709677419 348% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.405353393882 0.236089414692 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103505408413 0.076458572812 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.14786171568 0.0737576698707 200% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.269501483567 0.150856017488 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.121850544421 0.0645574589148 189% => OK
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Sentence: In the contemporary society, much ink has been spilled about why people buy the things they why.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a WH-adverb
Suggestion: Refer to they and why
the products that is unnecessary
the products that are unnecessary
ten percent of the population process almost ninety percent of the entire fortune
ten percent of the populations process almost ninety percent of the entire fortune
that is far more better than what they can get back
that is far better than what they can get back
making have no have time to figure out
making it no time to figure out
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Words: 597 350 //350 words are enough. Make sure you can write the essay in 30 minutes.
also to be mentioned is that, for TOEFL essays, it is not a good idea to agree/disagree partly in language, like:
'As a result, I can not totally agree with this statement.'
either give 3 reasons completely agree or 3 reasons completely disagree
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 597 350
No. of Characters: 2644 1500
No. of Different Words: 284 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.943 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.429 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.311 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.258 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.831 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.548 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.26 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.438 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5