Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television and friends have most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Children life is interplay from many factors. Some people think that parents are most essential for child developing. However, others believe that environmental could change their behaviour such as television and his/her friend. I believe that both of them would give effect for them.
Parents are people who direct interaction with their son/daughter. From their behaviour, children learn and understand about responsible and relationship. Father educate how to catch much money for their life necessity and mother teach them how to build good relation with her husband and child. Moreover, they do not only teach about theoretical with their member of family but also with example, which is, could follow by member easier. Parents believe that character of their children in society depend on their attitude in home. If they get good education in home absolutely they would become good member of citizen. That is I believe that parents have big influence for developing their children behaviour.
On the other hand, modern technology and large number of friends have effect. How much impact TV for them depend on how many time their spend to watch. When they become young, they would find their character, sometimes they follow what they see in television, for example their favourite actor or actress. Furthermore, friends are essential for them to build their socially and emotionally. Children find out someone who is their compare themselves. When their friends do the best, they would try to do it also. If they get companions with some hobby could make them happy and exercise every day.
In conclusion, children behaviour would influence from several cases and people who close with them. I think parents, friends, and television have proportional impact for developing their attitude.
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Sentence: Children life is interplay from many factors.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to Children and life
Sentence: Father educate how to catch much money for their life necessity and mother teach them how to build good relation with her husband and child.
Description: The fragment Father educate how is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace educate with verb, past tense
Description: The fragment mother teach them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace teach with verb, past tense
Sentence: Parents believe that character of their children in society depend on their attitude in home.
Description: The fragment society depend on is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace depend with verb, past participle
Sentence: Furthermore, friends are essential for them to build their socially and emotionally.
Description: The fragment their socially and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace socially with adjective
Sentence: Children find out someone who is their compare themselves.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to their and compare
Sentence: In conclusion, children behaviour would influence from several cases and people who close with them.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and behaviour
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.748 7.5
Read a good grammar book.
More compound or complex sentences wanted.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1470 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.104 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.424 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.748 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.46 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5