Hours of leisure time per year in someland
The given table gives information about hours of five different hobbies practiced by people in someland by age decades.
First, teenagers tend to spend more than 1,400 hours per year watching tv/videos and participating in group exercises, while this trend gradually decreases with the ages going up. Although people age 70s and over again spend considerable hours (1,100) watching tv/videos. Afterwards, since teenagers and adults (age 20s) are more gregarious they spend a great number of about 350h engaging in group communication of more than 4 people. The most remarkable shift can be seen for the pattern of watching tv/video with 100 hours differences per decade from 20s to 60s. Moreover, number of hours people spend on group exercise and going to cinema showed a declining trend of 50 and 25 hours per year respectively over the age period of 20s to 60s. Also, older people of age 60s to 70s and over were not interested in attending group exercise at all, while spending about 225h per year participating in social groups.
Overall, teenagers and elderlies of age 70s and over are more obsessed with watching tv/video and going to cinema. While the desire to attend individual and group exercises and socializing with more than 4 people dwindles during life span.
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Comments
i know the structure, the
i know the structure, the part that was important to me is that if i could develop the body efficiently both in structure and highlighting the most remarkable figures ?
Putting 2 paragraphs for
Putting 2 paragraphs for essay body will organize the content better. Every one paragraph can focus on one thing, specially when there are two charts or graphs.
Like in this essay, you put body in one paragraph, it is harder to figure out what you are talking about.
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
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or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
sample:
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http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/table-below-gives-information-about…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 215 200
No. of Characters: 1038 1000
No. of Different Words: 113 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.829 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.828 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.578 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 63 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.743 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.48 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.636 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4