103.There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities.
The speaker extrapolates that the goal of living healthier and longer should be achieved by small towns rather than big cities based on some alleged evidence. The speakers' words are tenuous, for the speaker does not examine the effectiveness of such evidence and wrongly use an existing situation as an effect to support the speaker's view.
The speaker begins with a statement that the sick holidays in a small town called Leeville is more than that of its nearby big city Masonton, indicating that there are more people stay in healthy in the small city. Here, the situation may exists and it is conspicuous in other small cities, in that the total number living in it is much less than that of megacities. For example, 10 people leaving their working position for suffering headache in a village having 100 people, whereas 1000 people experiencing the same in a city maintaining 100000 people, although the number is much lower for small town, the proportion shows reversely.
And, another flawed assertation made by the author is that, the fewer fraction of the number of physicians to patients they served in smaller city suggests a lower rate of sickness on the part of the speaker. In my opinion, the logic is upright incorrect, because that fraction is used to measure a place's competence of medical system. Just as in the real world, only in wealthier areas paying more taxes get more medical professionals, so as police stations. Thus, to make the speaker's viewpoint more tenacious, more reasonable deduction should be made.
Lastly, the higher average rate in countryside towns has other explanations besides one that people living there live a longer life. To illustrate, the possibilities are wide-ranging, as more young people working in companies locating at Masonton, and more elders living in Leeville because of retirement.
In sum, a lot of hole within the speaker's arguments could be easily found and challenged. The effect of small towns on people's longevity is a more baroque study, and such effect may be affected by other things, which is called confounding factors in academic circle. Hence, to illuminate the ideas more precisely, the speaker should find more evident to strengthen his positions and nullify counterproductivities caused by other unrelating variables.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-12 | okazaki11 | 73 | view |
| 2023-06-14 | weonalaz | 78 | view |
| 2023-03-27 | Pranav Lohote | 66 | view |
| 2023-01-28 | prabh450 | 58 | view |
| 2022-09-29 | Soumyadip Kar 1729 | 58 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 375 350
No. of Characters: 1880 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.401 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.013 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.768 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.993 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 173, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'word'.
Suggestion: word
... on some alleged evidence. The speakers words are tenuous, for the speaker does not e...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... effect to support the speakers view. The speaker begins with a statement that th...
^^^
Line 4, column 86, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uthor is that, the fewer fraction of the number of physicians to patients they se...
^^
Line 4, column 301, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'places'' or 'place's'?
Suggestion: places'; place's
...ause that fraction is used to measure a places competence of medical system. Just as i...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 480, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'speakers'' or 'speaker's'?
Suggestion: speakers'; speaker's
...o as police stations. Thus, to make the speakers viewpoint more tenacious, more reasonab...
^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 9, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun hole seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of holes'.
Suggestion: a lot of holes
...ille because of retirement. In sum, a lot of hole within the speakers arguments could be ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, hence, if, lastly, may, so, then, thus, whereas, for example, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1932.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 375.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.152 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83734335838 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554666666667 0.468620217663 118% => OK
syllable_count: 598.5 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.2269812194 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.0 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7857142857 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165863658139 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0572144707138 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.059483246661 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0908433262584 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0532451310186 0.0628817314937 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.39 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.