An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia — the scent of lavender flowers — has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored electronically. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. At the beginning of the second week, the volunteers discontinued their sleeping medication. During that week, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. Therefore, the study proves that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time.
The speaker unreasonably concludes that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time.Among the several untenable assumptions,the most glaring one pertains about the link between insomnia and the scented lavender flowers is entirely unsupported.The evidence proffered by the speaker about proving it as effective for good sleep which was noticed by volunteers who were under observation.The evidence is insubstantial and irrelevant to the issues involved.Therefore,unless a number of questions are answered satisfactorily,this cannot be considered as cogent argument.
Firstly,the speaker states that the traditional remedy to treat insomnia by using scent of lavender flowers is proved as effective but no proper detailed information about how it was proved he failed to mention if any theories were done before and worked successfully.It is not clearly stated about which time does the recent study refers like months ago or is it a week.There was no specific age group to which the volunteers belongs to was given by the speaker and whether did all of them stayed for the entire three weeks is unclear.The volunteers monitored were selected on what basis would be more convincing to support the argument.
Secondly,The speaker fails to give the statistical data of weekly performance including more elaborate details of the volunteers about what is the reason for insomnia as it was only their nights which are observed what activities they do in day time.If a person is jobless and sleeps whole day then in the night he would obviously have sleep issues and what if a person who is under some medication for any disease might have insomnia.These details would help us understand more precisely about the study.The weekly analysis should have been represented with hours of sleep like was it for 8 hours or 10 hours could add an advantage.
Thirdly,The sleeping medication taken by the volunteers is not detailed clearly.In the first two weeks he mentions that the volunteers woke up tired but has no relative information as to why there was not much change even after the medication.Does the lavender flowers takes 3 weeks long to treat as a remedy?Inspite of having the pillow right from beginning why didn't they feel the change in the first two weeks?If the sleeping medication is continued then the pillows will be working effectively or not was not detailed in the study.
In the conclusion,This argument would have been more eloquent if the speaker has given more information about the monitoring of volunteers with more informative data and statistics.Without the alternative information and in the absence of detailed explanations this argument can't be deemed to be persuasive.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 453 350
No. of Characters: 2238 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.613 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.94 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.696 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 50.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 32.67 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.389 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.706 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 50, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'cures'' or 'cure's'?
Suggestion: cures'; cure's
...er unreasonably concludes that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time....
^^^^^
Line 1, column 80, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time.Among the several untenable assumptions...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 95, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Among
... insomnia within a short period of time.Among the several untenable assumptions,the m...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 134, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
....Among the several untenable assumptions,the most glaring one pertains about the lin...
^^^^
Line 1, column 254, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...avender flowers is entirely unsupported.The evidence proffered by the speaker about...
^^^
Line 1, column 396, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...y volunteers who were under observation.The evidence is insubstantial and irrelevan...
^^^
Line 1, column 464, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...l and irrelevant to the issues involved.Therefore,unless a number of questions are answer...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 473, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , unless
...elevant to the issues involved.Therefore,unless a number of questions are answered sati...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 530, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , this
...of questions are answered satisfactorily,this cannot be considered as cogent argument...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...sidered as cogent argument. Firstly,the speaker states that the traditional rem...
^^^^
Line 5, column 269, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...ere done before and worked successfully.It is not clearly stated about which time ...
^^
Line 5, column 333, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'refer'?
Suggestion: refer
... about which time does the recent study refers like months ago or is it a week.There w...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 372, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
... refers like months ago or is it a week.There was no specific age group to which the ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 537, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...d for the entire three weeks is unclear.The volunteers monitored were selected on ...
^^^
Line 5, column 551, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re three weeks is unclear.The volunteers monitored were selected on what basis wo...
^^
Line 5, column 616, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'supporting'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: supporting
... on what basis would be more convincing to support the argument. Secondly,The speaker...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , The
...g to support the argument. Secondly,The speaker fails to give the statistical d...
^^^^
Line 9, column 251, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...ved what activities they do in day time.If a person is jobless and sleeps whole da...
^^
Line 9, column 436, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: These
...ion for any disease might have insomnia.These details would help us understand more p...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 506, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...derstand more precisely about the study.The weekly analysis should have been repres...
^^^
Line 13, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , The
...urs could add an advantage. Thirdly,The sleeping medication taken by the volunt...
^^^^
Line 13, column 81, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
... the volunteers is not detailed clearly.In the first two weeks he mentions that th...
^^
Line 13, column 244, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Does
...t much change even after the medication.Does the lavender flowers takes 3 weeks long...
^^^^
Line 13, column 310, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Inspite
...takes 3 weeks long to treat as a remedy?Inspite of having the pillow right from beginni...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 364, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ing the pillow right from beginning why didnt they feel the change in the first two w...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 414, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
... feel the change in the first two weeks?If the sleeping medication is continued th...
^^
Line 17, column 18, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , This
...led in the study. In the conclusion,This argument would have been more eloquent ...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 182, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Without
...th more informative data and statistics.Without the alternative information and in the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 276, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... of detailed explanations this argument cant be deemed to be persuasive.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2290.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 430.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32558139535 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.27545652815 2.78398813304 118% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520930232558 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 712.8 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 19.7664670659 25% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 86.0 22.8473053892 376% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 121.626312943 57.8364921388 210% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 458.0 119.503703932 383% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 86.0 23.324526521 369% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 17.0 5.70786347227 298% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 29.0 5.25449101796 552% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234262201657 0.218282227539 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129268528593 0.0743258471296 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0517155904029 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129268528593 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0517155904029 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 46.7 14.3799401198 325% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -24.27 48.3550499002 -50% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 18.2 7.1628742515 254% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 38.0 12.197005988 312% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.82 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.83 8.32208582834 142% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 31.0 12.3882235529 250% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 36.4 11.1389221557 327% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 31.0 11.9071856287 260% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.