Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
At first glance, it sounds convincing that failure in migration has caused arctic deer to decline in population. To make this connection, the argument above assumes that global waring has caused sea ice in Canada’s arctic region to melt, which has led into arctic deer’s obstacles in migration. However, I think these assumptions are full of holes and require our careful examination.
This argument implies that the arctic sea ice in Canada is melting under the influence of global warming. Even though it is true in general that global warming can result in melted ice, it is hard to say that Canada’s arctic ice sea is indeed under its influence. Valid evidence is necessary to prove that the ice in the specific region where the deer reside is in the process melting. Even if the ice which used to bridge the islands is disappearing, may the deer still be able to use the unmelted ice body to travel among islands? The melting rate is also needed to help determine how fast the ice is disappearing, which can help us to decide whether the arctic deer can still cross the sea via ice. Before we can find out whether the arctic ice is disappearing at a speed of which will hinder deer’s migration, it is unconvincing to purport that this actually affects deer’s population.
Also, this argument excludes any other factors that can potentially influence the deer’s population and blames the migration patterns as the culprit, which, I find, is more of a pretext for the hunters. Does unable to migrate to different places will cause the deer to decline in population? If the ice melts in the arctic region, more vegetation may grow on the newly exposed land, which will provide the deer wit more food. If this is the case, the deer may not even to migrate to sustain. Besides, there are many other factors we need to take into consideration as well. First, one factor the inlfuence the deer’s population is human hunting. Hunters’ over-gaming can cause the deer to decrease drastically. It could aslo be that the changes in enviroment, caused by global warming or not, may intrigue disease that causes empademic deaths in deer population. It could aslo be there is an uneven ratio between male and female deer that may influence the regular breeding pattern and lead into a decrease in population. Proir to considering and excluding all these potential factors, it is insufficient to conclude unable to migrate is why the deer are decreasing in number.
Therefore, even though there may be some connections and correlations between the deer’s failure in normade among the arctic islands and their decrease in population, it is a little to hasty to treat their relation as cause and result. To strength this argument, it is necessary to thoroughly examine the factors discussed above.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: To make this connection, the argument above assumes that global waring has caused sea ice in Canada's arctic region to melt, which has led into arctic deer's obstacles in migration.
Error: waring Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First, one factor the inlfuence the deer's population is human hunting.
Error: inlfuence Suggestion: influence
Sentence: It could aslo be that the changes in enviroment, caused by global warming or not, may intrigue disease that causes empademic deaths in deer population.
Error: empademic Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: enviroment Suggestion: environment
Error: aslo Suggestion: also
Sentence: It could aslo be there is an uneven ratio between male and female deer that may influence the regular breeding pattern and lead into a decrease in population.
Error: aslo Suggestion: also
Sentence: Therefore, even though there may be some connections and correlations between the deer's failure in normade among the arctic islands and their decrease in population, it is a little to hasty to treat their relation as cause and result.
Error: normade Suggestion: normal
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 475 350
No. of Characters: 2262 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.668 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.762 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.529 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.272 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, first, however, if, may, so, still, therefore, well, i think, in general, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2366.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 475.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98105263158 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66845742379 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78336650225 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482105263158 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 753.3 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.6018578819 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.666666667 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.619047619 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.19047619048 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231085111261 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0738003738168 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0545626430144 0.0701772020484 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154318351406 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0432131124438 0.0628817314937 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.