argument:The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal."A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimula

In this letter to the editor, the author claims that birth order has direct effects on the stimulation levels of infants and pregnant mothers as manifested in the levels of cortisol. While being firstborn is correlated with high stimulation levels, there are a number of alternative explanations we need to take into account when evaluating the soundness of the argument.

First of all, we may explain the high stimulation levels of firstborn infants in terms of their relatively older ages. In both studies of monkeys and human infants, firstborn infants have to be compared with their younger siblings when being exposed to certain stimulating situations. Maybe the firstborn babies responded to the stimulation more actively simply because they were older and with better cognitive abilities they were more sensitive to potential danger of an unfamiliar monkey or the excitement of a returning parent. The higher level of cortisol could be the result of the intense emotional changes rather than being firstborn.

Related to age is the relatively larger body sizes of the firstborn babies which may lead to higher levels of cortisol being released. Assuming the amount of cortisol produced is proportional to the body size, the larger the babies are the more cortisol would be

produced given the same level of stimulation. Therefore, we need to control the body size if we want to better understand the effects of birth order on stimulation level.

Although the siblings usually share similar genes, firstborn babies are not genetically identical to their younger brothers or sisters. Therefore, the different levels of stimulation could result from the different genes of the infants. Since the sample size was relatively small, it is possible that infants that are genetically geared towards releasing more cortisol happen to be firstborn. Studies of larger random samples are necessary to tease out the effects of genes from the effects of birth order.

As for the first-time expecting mothers, birth order may not be the direct cause of high level of stimulation. Maybe the first-time mothers were more excited or nervous about being pregnant which lead to higher level of cortisol being released. Or the pregnant mothers with children were too busy taking care of their children to feel excited or nervous. Therefore the level of excitement or stress could be a better explanation for the level of stimulation.

In conclusion, a number of alternative explanations may be advanced for the high level of stimulation observed. Unless we could find concrete evidence to rule out such explanations, the argument is not very strong.

Votes
Average: 4.2 (3 votes)
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Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 373, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...aluating the soundness of the argument. First of all, we may explain the high st...
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Suggestion:
...al changes rather than being firstborn. Related to age is the relatively larger ...
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...he babies are the more cortisol would be produced given the same level of stimula...
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Suggestion: Produced
...s are the more cortisol would be produced given the same level of stimulation. Th...
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Line 9, column 172, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ts of birth order on stimulation level. Although the siblings usually share simi...
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Line 11, column 511, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... genes from the effects of birth order. As for the first-time expecting mothers,...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...r children to feel excited or nervous. Therefore the level of excitement or stress could...
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...planation for the level of stimulation. In conclusion, a number of alternative e...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, may, so, therefore, while, as for, in conclusion, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2237.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 423.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28841607565 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77271002941 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.446808510638 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 697.5 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.8745560299 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.736842105 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2631578947 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.84210526316 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126368554479 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0498084447307 0.0743258471296 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0507104308768 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0745654182723 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0389797813115 0.0628817314937 62% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 423 350
No. of Characters: 2176 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.535 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.144 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.698 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.271 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.63 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5