Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The author suggests that the obesity rate will decline to a level lower than national average because the healthier lifestyle is prevalent in Benton city. I understand the health food is vital for people and they probably get healthier by changing their diet and less the obesity. however, the argument is rife with questionable connection and inference and the author has to reply some questions of detail.
The writer claims that a recent survey of dwellers’ eating habits compelling with the nutrition recommendation by government. Still, is the questionnaire credible and what’s the validation of the scope? For example, the survey could be designed as 20 pages with only 2 questions about if they’re following the nutritional guideline from government. Or even the relevant question is roughly designed with bias and just a simple choice between eating fast food daily or government suggested nutrition diet and this tend to sway people choosing the latter one for better impression. The author has to answer the question to strengthen the argument.
even if the questionnaire is well-designed by an authoritative institution and the scope is fully valid. Nevertheless, do the residents have the ability to answer what kinds of nutrition they eat? And how much of each type of nutrition they eat? For example, people who don’t know about the nutrition knowledge are barely to distinguish what kind of ingredient in their diet, such as protein, fat and carbohydrate. people may just fill in the form by their intuition, not relying on science classification and this would affect considerably the reliability of the results of the survey. The author needs to answer to make the argument more plausible.
Additional, from the basic point of view, the author claims that the positive changes in the eating habits would cause the obesity rate dropping in Benton city. It is unclear, however, the connection between eating habits and obesity. is the healthier eating style reducing obesity? this connection could be plausible, maybe health food tends to make people feel full with much lower calories compared to fast food. Besides, processed food tends to have high sugar and oil and leads people to be obese. Conceivably, people in Benton city get slender and obesity rate drops tremendously by changing diet. On the contrary, the connection could be substantially wrong. probably people think that they could eat as much as possible as long as they eat health food. Surprisingly, they get much obsess than they were before because of triple calories intake than previous diet. The author has to answer the question to make the argument more persuasive.
In conclusion, the author needs to address the questions mentioned above in order to make argument more convincing.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 451 350
No. of Characters: 2275 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.608 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.044 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.55 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.221 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.449 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 282, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...anging their diet and less the obesity. however, the argument is rife with questionable...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...has to reply some questions of detail. The writer claims that a recent survey o...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e question to strengthen the argument. even if the questionnaire is well-design...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 9, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...on to strengthen the argument. even if the questionnaire is well-designed b...
^^^^
Line 3, column 423, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
... such as protein, fat and carbohydrate. people may just fill in the form by their intu...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 235, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Is
...tion between eating habits and obesity. is the healthier eating style reducing obe...
^^
Line 4, column 283, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...ealthier eating style reducing obesity? this connection could be plausible, maybe he...
^^^^
Line 4, column 666, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Probably
...onnection could be substantially wrong. probably people think that they could eat as muc...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 836, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'calories'' or 'calorie's', 'calory's'?
Suggestion: calories'; calorie's; calory's
...than they were before because of triple calories intake than previous diet. The author h...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to make the argument more persuasive. In conclusion, the author needs to addre...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, however, if, may, nevertheless, so, still, then, well, as to, for example, in conclusion, kind of, such as, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2338.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 449.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20712694878 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81803648949 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485523385301 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 706.5 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.9089239221 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.52 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.96 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.28 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162612206513 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0482077899326 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0467171447192 0.0701772020484 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0828820522381 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0357639657632 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.64 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.