Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our deluxe alpaca overcoats. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has risen in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase
The author claims that about five years before the company has stopped the manufacturing of alpaca overcoats because the high-quality wool was not available. Now, the company has a new wool supplier so the manufacture of the alpaca overcoats can be started again and the selling of this product can give large profits. I found the above argument to be rife with holes due to many reasons.
Firstly, the author asserts that if the manufacturing of the alpaca overcoats, which were sold by company five years ago, ware started again then it will cause huge profit as they no longer have competitors and the coat has not been offered in the market since a long time. The statement is flawed because it may be possible that clothing style preferred by the people has changed now as compared to what it was five years back and people will be no longer interested in buying the alpaca overcoats. The author should provide evidence that enough people will buy the overcoat so that the company could make a profit.
Secondly, the author claims that all of the major competitors are not manufacturing alpaca overcoats and they have the chance to make huge profits by reintroducing it to the market. Perhaps, companies, other than the major competitors, have started to manufacture and sell it in the market and these companies have built good image among customers. The above stated is specious unless the author rules out these possibilities.
Thirdly, the author asserts that the coat will sell at a high price because the prices of other clothes have increased significantly during five years and the company will earn a huge profit. Here, the author has confused the profit with selling price but the profit is a function of both cost price and selling price. Perhaps, the cost of the wool has increased many folds that can make the profit low or perhaps the major competitors have ceased the production of alpaca overcoat due to the high cost of wool. The author should provide a proper analysis of the cost price and selling price of the product.
The argument provided in the memo is flawed and to bolster it author should show that people will buy the overcoat and how many other competitors are in the market. Moreover, the manufacturing cost and selling price should be calculated.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 1860 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.745 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.464 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.133 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.398 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.385 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.626 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 34, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...it. Secondly, the author claims that all of the major competitors are not manufacturing...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 63, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'authors'?
Suggestion: authors
...in the memo is flawed and to bolster it author should show that people will buy the ov...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1901.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 392.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.84948979592 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54119408511 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.423469387755 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 600.3 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.8500561907 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.733333333 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.1333333333 23.324526521 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46666666667 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.12315848608 0.218282227539 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.049522666072 0.0743258471296 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0322307508067 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0757518722949 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.026399246038 0.0628817314937 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.38 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 98.500998004 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.