In order to reduce costs, we should close some of our existing small assembly plants and build a large central plant. Grandview would be an ideal location for this new plant. First, of the locations that we have considered, Grandview has the largest adult population, so that we will be able to staff our plant quickly and easily. Second, since the average wage earned by workers in Grandview is less than that in the other locations, we should be able to keep production costs low. Last, as an inducement for us to build there, Grandview's town council has offered to allow us to operate for the first three years without paying city taxes."
In the memo, the author claimed that by building a large plant in place of small assembly plants would reduce the cost and he proposes Grandview as the best place for the new plant. The argument of the author is flawed in many ways and hence unconvincing.
Firstly, the author makes an assertion that the new large plant will reduce cost as compared to small assembly plants. However, the author has not given any substantiate reason for this. Besides, the author has not considered the large sum of money which is required in order to construct the new larger plant. The author should provide a vivid plan about exactly how the cost will reduce.
Secondly, the author asserts that because Grandview is abounded with adult people, the company would get its staff easily. However, there is no data given on the number of young people who are living in that area. For the sake of argument, if it is accepted that there are many young people in that area even then it is not known that these people are ready to work for the firm. It may be possible that these people are employed already. The author should provide data on how many of the adult people are ready to work for the company.
Thirdly, one more logically flawed argument is made by the author that the production cost will decrease because the average labor cost in Grandview is low as compared to other regions. In this statement, the author has wrongly assumed that the production cost is only dependent on labor cost and leaving other factors such as cost of raw material, electricity charges and transportation charges. Until the author considers each factor that affects the cost and gives vivid data to prove his point, this argument is baseless.
Finally, the author claims that the tax relaxation for three years is given by the council as an incentive to build the factory at Grandview. Perhaps, other region’s council would give better options like relaxation for up to five years. The author should provide the data from other regions and substantiate the claim that Grandview is giving the best option.
The author claim is unpersuasive due to many reasons. Hence, the author should provide the data regarding the number of young people willing to work, the proposed place also offers low cost for other things besides low labor cost and Grandview is giving the maximum number of years of tax relaxation.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 1925 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.684 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.24 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.632 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.08 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1979.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 411.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81508515815 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50256981431 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35854916991 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.45498783455 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 608.4 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.8626462111 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.157894737 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6315789474 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.68421052632 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.192622741919 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0700472516824 0.0743258471296 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0834550769922 0.0701772020484 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123786460142 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0909351676977 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.