The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
"Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
As per a health magazine published in Corpora, the reason behind the decline in physical fitness levels of Corpora’s citizens is not too much time spent on computers as experts suggest, but rather it has to do with the declining state of the economy. They cite the fact that the areas with the highest computer ownership also have the highest level of physical fitness, as well as the unusually low expenditure on fitness-related products and services as the evident for this reasoning. I believe there are three unwarranted assumptions which make this argument a weak one, and I will explain them in this essay.
The first is the equating of highest computer ownership to the highest time spent on computers, in the areas with the highest physical fitness. Owning more computers does not necessarily imply more time spent using them. What if the people who own the most computers do so because they have the resources for it vis a vis others who have the same or even higher degree of usage but cant afford to own their own computers? What if other areas have better availability of public computers in cyber cafés and similar establishments to support these needs? If these prove true, the first evidence to debunk the medical experts’ belief in computers being the reason behind the decline in Corpora citizens’ fitness level would be extremely weakened and not able to hold any water.
The second is also related to assuming the relationship between the high fitness levels in the areas with highest computer ownership. There could be a myriad of reasons why physical fitness is better in those areas than the others. It is possible that those areas have a strong public fitness system in place, with infrastructure and programmes, compared to other regions. It could even be the case that the majority population of these particular areas are communities which lay heavy emphasis on fitness, like athletes. If either one of these stands true, the presented correlation between high physical fitness and high computer ownership would be nullified and this argument would not be able to stand.
The third has to with assuming the reason behind the unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services is related to a decline in the economy. There could be many reasons behind this decrease in expenditure. Perhaps, there has been a decline in the demand for these products and services over the years, and the expenditure has been adjusted accordingly. Maybe, there were other pressing areas that needed funds on higher priority, leading to this decline. There can be even more reasons, but what this makes clear is that to make the connection that this decline in fitness-related expenditures is because of the economy, with the argument presented as it stands, is extremely unwarranted.
To conclude, this argument as it stands is quite weak and makes quite a few unwarranted assumptions. If the magazine could present more evidence in support of their argument to prove that the declining economy is the reason behind the decline in Corpora citizens’ physical fitness levels, it would be possible to build a stronger argument and analyse this argument more effectively.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 528 350
No. of Characters: 2617 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.794 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.956 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.652 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.259 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.393 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 27, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'of the highest'.
Suggestion: of the highest
... this essay. The first is the equating of highest computer ownership to the highest time ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 382, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...same or even higher degree of usage but cant afford to own their own computers? What...
^^^^
Line 3, column 102, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'with the highest'.
Suggestion: with the highest
...en the high fitness levels in the areas with highest computer ownership. There could be a my...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, if, may, second, so, third, well, as to, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2678.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 528.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07196969697 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75671190265 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.410984848485 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 855.9 705.55239521 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.0271605192 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.9 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.1 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135486897826 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0433547553783 0.0743258471296 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0592180039465 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0910579529583 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0564119097933 0.0628817314937 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.