The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Analyzing the eating habits of a population is a complex matter. The author argues that the people in Forsythe have adopted better food consuming habits, but the way it was presented, this claim is weak and unsounded.
First of all, it is important to analyze the author’s assumption that a survey, which was based on responses provided by the citizens of Forsythe, show that their eating habits are closer to the government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. This hypothesis raises questions about how this survey was conducted. Was the surveys from now and from ten years ago exactly the same? Were the questions asked to a relevant part of the population, in order to be considered valid? Are the government nutritional recommendations the same nowadays as they were ten years ago? All these questions should be answered in order to clarify and support the author’s point of view, and if their answers confirm one’s expectations, the they would certainly strengthen his/her conclusion.
Secondly, the author claims that an increase in sales of products containing kiran is a positive sign in eating habits changes. To strengthen this point of view, the author would benefit from informing the source of the information that products containing kiran reduces cholesterol. If this claim fails to prove it’s scientific evidence, there is no point in stating it.
Closely linked to the aforementioned assumption is the bold hypothesis that a reduction on the sales of sulia is also an improve on the food consuming habits of the population in Forsythe because this is a food that few healthy citizens regularly consume. There are uncountable reasons for healthy citizens not consuming sulia, other than believing that this food is bad for people’s health. To support his assumption, the author must use proven evidences that support his/her claim, and that is not the case.
The author’s conclusion that the citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles is rife with holes and assumptions. In order to sustain his/her point of view, it would be important to use facts and evidences that support the stated claim.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. //maybe people over there don't have issues with cholesterol.
argument 3 -- not OK. //maybe the cost of sulia has skyrocketed recently, and it is the reason of the decline.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 353 350
No. of Characters: 1760 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.986 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.746 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.627 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.573 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 752, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'they'?
Suggestion: the; they
...nswers confirm one's expectations, the they would certainly strengthen his/her conc...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 119, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...reduction on the sales of sulia is also an improve on the food consuming habits of the pop...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, then, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1840.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 350.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25714285714 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32530772707 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9385877491 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.497142857143 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 558.0 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.610307498 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.0 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.875 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.875 5.70786347227 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246066826116 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0769745366039 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0862615469366 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120279067029 0.128457276422 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0640553320279 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.