The following appeared in a health magazine."The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they

In this memo, the author argues that the citizens’ lifestyle of Forsythe have positively changed healthier. To support this claim, the author points out that their eating habits changed to conform closer to government nutritional recommendations than 10 years ago, and reasons that sales of food products containing kiran has drastically increased. The author also reasons that this proclivity to kiran food product affected the decline of sales of sulia. The argument seems to be reasonable at first glance, neverthelss, the following investigation shows why it might be specious.

To begin with, the argument relies on the assumption that the past government nutritional recommendations were regarded healthy and maintained its healthiness until now. Yet the author provides no substantiating evidence for this assumption. Perhaps, the survey techniques 10 years ago were not that advanced as current technologies so that it is dubious whether the government nutritional recommendation was based on an accurate analysis within the reliable data of average citizen’s health. Even if it was held with sufficient accuracy, the argument is reasonable when the degree of healthiness of that recommendation maintains the same with its past one. Or perhaps, conforming to the recommendation in the past were relatively harder than now, because the life standard might not have been high enough to fulfill its requirements the recommendation gave. Thus lacking reliable evidence of correlation between conforming to government nutritional recommendation and citizens’ health is difficult to accept this hasty conclusion.

Furthermore, it is assumed that the drastic increase in sales of food products including kiran defines a definitive enhancement in citizens’ lifestyles, yet its internal logic seems questionable. Even if kiran helps people to get healtheir, the actual efficiency of kiran could be trivial. For example, many orange juices advertise that their product contains plethora of vitamin C but in fact, vitamin C is contained only 0.2% and rest of it are composed of compounds such as sugar and syrup which are unrelative with health. This advertising strategy might have been applied to the food product containing kiran also, eventually succeeding in increasing the sales. Therefore, in order to judge if increased sales of kiran actually helped citizens to become healthier, further proof such as the sales increase were unrelative with strategic marketing plan only for pursuing profits.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it, further assessment whether the past government nutritional recommendations were regarded healthy and maintained its healthiness until now has to be proved. Also, we need to know whether the increase in sales of kiran actually helped citizens’ lifestyle get healthier with no disguise.

Votes
Average: 4.5 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, if, so, therefore, thus, as to, for example, in fact, such as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2455.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 433.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.66974595843 5.12650576532 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.22807899567 2.78398813304 116% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517321016166 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 754.2 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.7908104959 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.388888889 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0555555556 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184739384819 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0592383510678 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0564099856071 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111346744347 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0491876031511 0.0628817314937 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.3 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.9 12.5979740519 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.42 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: Even if kiran helps people to get healtheir, the actual efficiency of kiran could be trivial.
Error: healtheir Suggestion: healthier

Sentence: For example, many orange juices advertise that their product contains plethora of vitamin C but in fact, vitamin C is contained only 0.2 and rest of it are composed of compounds such as sugar and syrup which are unrelative with health.
Error: unrelative Suggestion: No alternate word

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- better not to use another example. simply say: maybe the kiran is getting cheaper, so there is a increase in sales.

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flaws:
at least 3 argument wanted.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2372 1500
No. of Different Words: 219 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.478 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.07 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 151 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 115 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 77 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.891 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5