The following appeared in a health newsletter A ten year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets whereas today that number i

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted

The above newsletter article based on 2 surveys suggests that the government instead of encouraging usage of helmets for bicyclists must create awareness amongst them regarding safe cycling. This conclusion has been fueled by some of the half baked assumptions which have been made based on the surveys, which need to be clarified further. The author bases his argument on a ten year nationwide study regarding the effectiveness of wearing a helmet and the number of accidents cause by bicycling. The author cites several reasons to support his contention. The author’s argument seems convincing at first glance, but on further reflection, it is found to be rife with holes and assumptions.

The newsletter article refers to a 10 year old survey which states that at that time, 35% of participants claimed to be using a helmet, and now, it is upto 80%, source of which is unknown. The newsletter article suggests that there has been an increase in helmet usage by assuming the survey to be adequate. Now, there are a lot of discrepancies that might prevail in this survey, which may be like a limited participant base, false answers by people due to fear of law and even an improper definition of 'helmet'. This is because, as we see now there is a lot of variety in the designs available for helmets which can be selected. This survey might not be considering an abstract yet useful helmet design as a helmet. Further due to a probable low participant base, it is quite possible that the survey misses a wide section of the society which wears a helmet. So it is again quite probable that the figure of helmet usage might have been same during this time.
Furthermore the newsletter refers to another survey of unknown credentials, using which it has been assumed that cycling accidents have been increased. Again as we dealt above with that of the definition of a 'helmet', we see that there is a possible misunderstanding of what is meant by an 'accident'. The newsletter seems to assume that an accident must something fatal which can cause serious damage to the cyclist. But on the other side, we do not know the intensity with which the referred survey uses the term 'accident'. It could be the case that small falls, collisions which cause minor injuries be considered as an accident, as maybe this survey could have just observed cycle accidents which happen in suburbs.
Also this newsletter article seems to assume that the number of accidents has increased even with a possible increase in helmet usage. It says that there has been a 200% increase in the number of accidents. Now it can actually be proven to be normal due to the increase in number of cyclists. So let us just assume that 10 years ago there were only 100 bicyclists out of which only 20 suffered accidents thus the accident percentage being 20%. Now after 10 years, considering a 200% growth in the number of accidents, the previous 20 now amount to a 60. But now, considering the growth in the number of cyclists, the total number of cyclists can be about 300; thus again the accident percentage amounts to only 20% as that of before. Therefore, by rather overlooking the fact of increase in the number of cyclists, the newsletter makes some unwarranted assumptions.
Yet is quite questionable that was the 200% only due to risky cycling. It is quite probable that as times changed due to new developments like construction of highways near residential zones, increased car usage or bad roads, etc could also amount to increased accidents. The newsletter article thus again fails to assume external factors. Many such assumptions which can be easily seen like that of the overlooked discrepancies in the surveys, increased cycle usage have not been considered which make the argument presented in the newsletter quite invalid until proper facts are not put on the table

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Average: 4.3 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 226, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ling This conclusion has been fueled by some of the half baked assumptions which have been ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 557, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...l reasons to support his contention The authors argument seems convincing at first glan...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 682, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd to be rife with holes and assumptions The newsletter article refers to a 10 ye...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'source' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'sources'.
Suggestion: sources
...be using a helmet and now it is upto 80 source of which is unknown The newsletter arti...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 706, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... cycle accidents which happen in suburbs Also this newsletter article seems to as...
^^^
Line 5, column 530, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'amount' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'amounts'.
Suggestion: amounts
...number of accidents the previous 20 now amount to a 60 But now considering the growth ...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, if, look, may, regarding, so, therefore, thus, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 37.0 19.6327345309 188% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 34.0 13.6137724551 250% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 95.0 55.5748502994 171% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3129.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 658.0 441.139720559 149% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75531914894 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.06473204393 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65936299637 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 256.0 204.123752495 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.38905775076 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 990.9 705.55239521 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 19.7664670659 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 658.0 22.8473053892 2880% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 57.8364921388 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 3129.0 119.503703932 2618% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 658.0 23.324526521 2821% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 95.0 5.70786347227 1664% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 8.20758483034 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.147105910795 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.147105910795 0.0743258471296 198% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0701772020484 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0901836630671 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0597830236418 0.0628817314937 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 330.0 14.3799401198 2295% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -587.93 48.3550499002 -1216% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 7.1628742515 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 258.7 12.197005988 2121% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 11.81 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 38.96 8.32208582834 468% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 54.0 12.3882235529 436% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 265.2 11.1389221557 2381% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 54.0 11.9071856287 454% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: The above newsletter article based on 2 surveys suggests that the government instead of encouraging usage of helmets for bicyclists must create awareness amongst them regarding safe cycling.
Description: The fragment surveys suggests that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace suggests with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive

Sentence: The author bases his argument on a ten year nationwide study regarding the effectiveness of wearing a helmet and the number of accidents cause by bicycling.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to year and nationwide

Sentence: The newsletter article refers to a 10 year old survey which states that at that time, 35 of participants claimed to be using a helmet, and now, it is upto 80, source of which is unknown.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to year and old
Description: The word states is not usually used as a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to states

Sentence: Now, there are a lot of discrepancies that might prevail in this survey, which may be like a limited participant base, false answers by people due to fear of law and even an improper definition of 'helmet'.
Description: The fragment a lot of is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is

Sentence: This is because, as we see now there is a lot of variety in the designs available for helmets which can be selected.
Description: The fragment is because , is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace because with adjective

Sentence: So let us just assume that 10 years ago there were only 100 bicyclists out of which only 20 suffered accidents thus the accident percentage being 20.
Description: The fragment only 100 bicyclists is not usually preceded by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was

Sentence: But now, considering the growth in the number of cyclists, the total number of cyclists can be about 300; thus again the accident percentage amounts to only 20 as that of before.
Description: The word thus is not usually used as a qualifier, pre
Suggestion: Refer to thus

Sentence: It is quite probable that as times changed due to new developments like construction of highways near residential zones, increased car usage or bad roads, etc could also amount to increased accidents.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and increased

Sentence: Many such assumptions which can be easily seen like that of the overlooked discrepancies in the surveys, increased cycle usage have not been considered which make the argument presented in the newsletter quite invalid until proper facts are not put on the table
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an End of sentence
Suggestion: Refer to table

Sentence: The author's argument seems convincing at first glance, but on further reflection, it is found to be rife with holes and assumptions.
Error: rife Suggestion: rise

Sentence: The newsletter article refers to a 10 year old survey which states that at that time, 35 of participants claimed to be using a helmet, and now, it is upto 80, source of which is unknown.
Error: upto Suggestion: unto

Sentence: Now, there are a lot of discrepancies that might prevail in this survey, which may be like a limited participant base, false answers by people due to fear of law and even an improper definition of 'helmet'.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Furthermore the newsletter refers to another survey of unknown credentials, using which it has been assumed that cycling accidents have been increased.
Error: credentials Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: The newsletter seems to assume that an accident must something fatal which can cause serious damage to the cyclist.
Error: cyclist Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Therefore, by rather overlooking the fact of increase in the number of cyclists, the newsletter makes some unwarranted assumptions.
Error: unwarranted Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: It is quite probable that as times changed due to new developments like construction of highways near residential zones, increased car usage or bad roads, etc could also amount to increased accidents.
Error: etc Suggestion: et

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2

Read a good grammar book.

No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Double check spelling errors.

Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
Minimum four paragraphs wanted

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 658 350
No. of Characters: 3118 1500
No. of Different Words: 265 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.739 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 210 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 153 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 111 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.047 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.367 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5