The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily Newspaper:
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer. Over 80,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league softball players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure from coaches and parents. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages apparently outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
The author indicates that people in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competitions for children under nine because the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To support the argument, the author points out that as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. Also, a recent study declares that youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents. Besides, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. However, the assumptions of the argument should be stated more to support the argument.
First of all, the author assumes that the recent interviewed study is reliable, but the credibility is suspicious. The author should mention more about the number of interviewees in the study and indicate the representative of those people. Since it only declares youth-league soccer players in several major cities reported pressure, which cannot represent that other cities’ youth-league soccer players have the same issues. Moreover, the number of people who take part in the study needed to be specific to support the argument.
In addition, the author assumes that education experts, say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities, are reliable. However, the number of experts who claim this point should be declared to support the assumption since more experts can represent the profession. Also, long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities needed to be proved since the long practice sessions may not generate a negative influence when the time arrangement is proper.
Finally, the author assumes that the disadvantages of athletic competition for children under nine outweigh any advantages, which is also needed to be proved since the author only declares disadvantages. There might be many advantages of athletic competition which are positive for
children, for instance, athletic competition can teach children about fair game and cooperation, and exercises can stay children’s health that makes them stronger.
In general, in order to support the argument, that people in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine, the author declares several assumptions, including youth-league soccer players in several major cities reported psychological pressure in a recent study, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities, and there are various disadvantages, but more details are needed to prove the argument.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 2326 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.512 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.749 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.3 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.4 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 560, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Besides, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take ...
^^
Line 3, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t interviewed study is reliable, but the credibility is suspicious. The author sh...
^^
Line 3, column 285, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nce it only declares youth-league soccer players in several major cities reported...
^^^
Line 3, column 482, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he number of people who take part in the study needed to be specific to support t...
^^
Line 5, column 286, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...red to support the assumption since more experts can represent the profession. Al...
^^^^
Line 5, column 388, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activiti...
^^
Line 9, column 187, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the author declares several assumptions, including youth-league soccer players in...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, for instance, in addition, in general, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2388.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 422.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.65876777251 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8606401087 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.398104265403 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 745.2 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 97.9162907794 57.8364921388 169% => OK
Chars per sentence: 159.2 119.503703932 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.1333333333 23.324526521 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.93333333333 5.70786347227 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177390731979 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0779850965501 0.0743258471296 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.106309468253 0.0701772020484 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107816787833 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0885020845363 0.0628817314937 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.3 14.3799401198 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 26.14 48.3550499002 54% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 12.197005988 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.84 12.5979740519 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.