The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex
to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers
complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be.
Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available,
the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the
corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water
pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that
modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside
Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically."
The author suggests that modifying showerheads to eliminate water flow for all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex so as to increase profit considerably. however, the argument is wife with holes and plagued by a number of skewed assumptions.
First, the author implies that water flow to one-third of original causes the less water usage. The assumption here is that total water usage is reduced by restricting the maximum water flow to one-third of earlier level. The argument may be right if all residents use the water with the same time period before and after changing the showerheads, then the water usage is conceivably reduced to one-third of the original level due to the degradation ratio of the greatest water flow with unchanged use period. however, it could be a different story if residents use double amount of water because the water flow is too little and it takes more time for them to clean up bodies. The writer needs to cope with the above assumption to strengthen the argument.
Even if the residence do use one-third of the water volume after changing showerheads, the connection to saving water is still problematic. some of credentials of water usage composition has to be presented. if water usage comes from showerheads dominantly, then it does make sense that increasing savings due to new showerheads. still, because clothing washing machine use the same volume of water no matter the water flow is, and the washing machine is the most dominate water usage source in the building, then dwellers use water with three time period as much as before to get the same water volume to make the clothes clear as usual. Therefore, modifying the showerheads have nothing to do with saving money and the author needs to address the assumption mentioned above to make the argument more convincing.
Additionally, another assumption here is that the author attributes the remarkable savings for Sunnyside Corporation to less water fee because of dramatically water flow reduction by modifying the showerheads. it may be true if the water fee is 99% of the bill, then we could almost recognize the savings coming from less water usage. Yet some credentials of the connection between savings to water saving is unclear as well as the percentage and how much water fee in the bill as well. For instance, if the water fee only occupies 1% of the monthly fee, then it is barely for the argument to convince that modifying showerheads could benefit any.
The author needs to address the assumptions mentioned above to make the argument more cogent.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 2104 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.556 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.882 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 23.067 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.457 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.69 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.204 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 129, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex so as to increase profit considerably. however, ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 168, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
... so as to increase profit considerably. however, the argument is wife with holes and pl...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 511, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...t water flow with unchanged use period. however, it could be a different story if resid...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 141, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...n to saving water is still problematic. some of credentials of water usage compositi...
^^^^
Line 9, column 141, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'some of', you should use 'the' ('some of the credentials') or simply say ''some credentials''.
Suggestion: some of the credentials; some credentials
...n to saving water is still problematic. some of credentials of water usage composition has to be pr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 209, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... usage composition has to be presented. if water usage comes from showerheads domi...
^^
Line 9, column 331, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Still
...reasing savings due to new showerheads. still, because clothing washing machine use t...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 211, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...reduction by modifying the showerheads. it may be true if the water fee is 99% of ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, third, well, as to, for instance, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2161.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 431.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01392111369 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71339731055 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.415313225058 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 690.3 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.536223112 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.117647059 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3529411765 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186552808654 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0732641224477 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0590642270548 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111630014096 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0622655650828 0.0628817314937 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.