The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Based on some very low assumptions like after 50 years Buckingham enrollment become double, current dormitories space is inadequate, and recently the rent for houses in the town is increasing, etc. the author concluded that Buckingham Collage need to build more dormitories for student. Although the author sounds logical at first sight, the statement failed to the necessary support to light the conclusion.
First, the author state that enrollment in Buckingham Collage is increasing and in future the enrollment will double, but he did not provide any justified evidence to buttress the statement. For example, he did not provide any recent data about current students and the rate of current enrollment. So it is not clear that how he predicts that the enrollment will double in 50 years. May be after the 10 or 20 years the enrollment will decrease. So, if author first clarifies the above claim the statement should have been more robust.
Further, the argument state that in the Buckingham town the average rate of housing rent is currently waxing. But the statement failed to addition support to rich the argument. To illustrate, he did not clearly mention why the rent for apartment in town currently increasing. Is it for the people of the town are rising or the number of students in the Buckingham Collage are increasing day by day? What is the relation between the new dormitories and the rent for house in the town? Above questions are not obvious for the statement. Therefore, by preciously remove the above doubts author could strong the statement.
Furthermore, the author has gave a very weak and dubious statement that new attracted dormitories are more probable the enrollment in Buckingham Collage. For lucidity, this statement makes many general questions about the new dormitories and the Buckingham Collage, such as is the others collage in Buckingham has the very old dormitories or the other facilities for the student in Buckingham Collage is normally very low? If not, then why the new dormitories in Buckingham Collage increasing the enrollment? May be a new dormitory with more facilities than others collage in Buckingham would enhance the enrollment in the Buckingham Collage.
At the end of the discussions about the argument, I surely believed that author could strongly light his conclusion by provide the necessary data and clarifies the above mentions questions carefully.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 391 350
No. of Characters: 1980 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.447 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.064 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.746 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.794 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.361 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.18 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 387, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...enrollment will double in 50 years. May be after the 10 or 20 years the enrollment...
^^
Line 2, column 445, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... 20 years the enrollment will decrease. So, if author first clarifies the above claim ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 29, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'given'.
Suggestion: given
...statement. Furthermore, the author has gave a very weak and dubious statement that ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 513, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
... Collage increasing the enrollment? May be a new dormitory with more facilities th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, may, so, then, therefore, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2025.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 391.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.17902813299 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44676510885 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83059320637 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.445012787724 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 622.8 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.5418188182 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.25 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.55 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.75 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.288350448952 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0981923817294 0.0743258471296 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.083071115226 0.0701772020484 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160345543551 0.128457276422 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0917716378522 0.0628817314937 146% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.