The following appeared in a memo written by a dean at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a new dormitory. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, should double over the next fifty years, thus making existing dormitories inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has increased in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham
In this argument, the dean recommends that for the purpose of the improvement of students’ housing, Buckingham College ought to build a new dormitory. The cited evidences that the number of the enrolled students and the rent of apartment in average have been increasing in recent years have been somehow related to the seemingly warranted recommendation. However, a close scrutiny of the argument reveals several insufficient and misleading pieces of evidence before we can fully evaluate the argument.
In the first place, the dean has tried to reach the conclusions that the shortage of apartment for increasing enrolled students leads to the consequences that it would be difficult for students to live in the campus.As a result, the dean points out that the establishment of a new dormitory would be helpful for students’ housing needs and attracting prospective students.But this argument has failed to provide evidence about whether the trends of increasing enrollment will continue in the future. It is equally possible that the change in the number of enrollment of students in the future trend would be opposite to that in the current trend.For instance, due to the impact of potential economic depression,fewer and fewer students would be willing to apply for Buckingham College. In this case, the conclusion in the argument that may be weakened.
Secondly, by analyzing the conclusion of this argument, we can find the unstated assumption that the rent for off-campus apartment will continue to increase in the following years. However, the validity of this assumption is challenger be some other possibilities. Certainly, it is likely that as the demand for rent of apartments rises,the rent price would increase relatively,but it is of equal probability that the demand would be undermined by the epidemic,fewer students want to rent the apartments, the market price of rent is possible to decrease.
Thirdly,even if the foregoing questions were all answered favorably,there remain questions that render that author’s whole reasoning logically flawed. To be more specific, the dean’s assumption that more prospective students will enroll at Buckingham conflicts the dean’s purpose of solving the housing problem.If the dean want to attract more students, then it could be more difficult to meet the demand of current students,and even have a negative impact on their housing problems. Before the dean can answer these questions,it is entirely possible that the dean overlooks the antagonism between two objectives.
To sum up, the argument is not based on valid evidence to sufficient explanations. To reinforce the argument, the author must qualify the recommendation by accounting for the missing evidences such as the change in the tendency of the rent of off- campus apartment and number of enrollment.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 455 350
No. of Characters: 2328 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.619 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.116 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.821 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.294 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 367, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...ly warranted recommendation. However, a close scrutiny of the argument reveals several insuffi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 217, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: As
...cult for students to live in the campus.As a result, the dean points out that the ...
^^
Line 3, column 373, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...eds and attracting prospective students.But this argument has failed to provide evi...
^^^
Line 3, column 647, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...e opposite to that in the current trend.For instance, due to the impact of potentia...
^^^
Line 3, column 711, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , fewer
... impact of potential economic depression,fewer and fewer students would be willing to ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 337, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
... the demand for rent of apartments rises,the rent price would increase relatively,bu...
^^^^
Line 5, column 378, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , but
...the rent price would increase relatively,but it is of equal probability that the dem...
^^^^
Line 5, column 461, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , fewer
...mand would be undermined by the epidemic,fewer students want to rent the apartments, t...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , even
...rent is possible to decrease. Thirdly,even if the foregoing questions were all ans...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 68, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , there
...ng questions were all answered favorably,there remain questions that render that autho...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 312, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
... purpose of solving the housing problem.If the dean want to attract more students,...
^^
Line 7, column 425, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , and
...t to meet the demand of current students,and even have a negative impact on their ho...
^^^^
Line 7, column 527, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...fore the dean can answer these questions,it is entirely possible that the dean over...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, for instance, such as, as a result, to sum up, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2401.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 443.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41986455982 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12865188482 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.467268623025 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 733.5 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 114.242134548 57.8364921388 198% => OK
Chars per sentence: 171.5 119.503703932 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.6428571429 23.324526521 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3571428571 5.70786347227 181% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.167199916718 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0559174002382 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0721135962509 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0884134006247 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0600892584474 0.0628817314937 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.9 14.3799401198 138% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.55 48.3550499002 65% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 12.197005988 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.75 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.45 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.