The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author of the statement proposed that constructing new attractive dormitories would attract prospective students to enroll more at Buckinghan College. The author also states a few evidenances to support his argument. But he forgots about the many other factors that would likely to play important roles in decidion making.
Firstly, in the main statement, author was motivated for the new dormitories, which would attract new students to enroll at the college. But he forgets about the other factors which would play the important roles in decidion making of the prospective students. Factors like quality of faculty at the college, reputation of the college, after study support that college provides to find their first job are much more important to students rather than new attractive dormitories.
Secondly, author predicts that enrollment would get double in next 50 years. One might say he is thinking a way ahead of a time or he is a man of plannning, who loves to plan things in advance. But he forgets who dynamic the time is. I next 50 years, might be a case, number of enrollments decrease rather than increase, then contructing the new dormitories would not be a good idea, it would be merely a waste of money and resources. To be frank, no one knows what is going to happen in next few seconds, so how one can predict of 50 years ahead.
In conclusion, the statement proposed by the author has many flaws and without considering them one can not predict that new dormitories would attract more prospective students.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 259 350
No. of Characters: 1246 1500
No. of Different Words: 131 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.012 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.811 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.656 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.583 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.271 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.399 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.602 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 210, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a dynamic'.
Suggestion: who is a dynamic
... plan things in advance. But he forgets who dynamic the time is. I next 50 years, might be ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 278, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ext 50 years, might be a case, number of enrollments decrease rather than increas...
^^
Line 7, column 179, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ould attract more prospective students.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1284.0 2260.96107784 57% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 259.0 441.139720559 59% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.95752895753 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.01166760082 4.56307096286 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75720014171 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 136.0 204.123752495 67% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.525096525097 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 389.7 705.55239521 55% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.4301035927 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.0 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5833333333 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.102499386923 0.218282227539 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0398927549331 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0493652302846 0.0701772020484 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.068135320223 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0339929389257 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 98.500998004 55% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.